Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what are the measures should be taken to reduce this? Write at least 250 words.

Youngsters are challenging a
lot
of
stress
in recent times from studies, jobs, and business perspectives. The potential
reason
for
this
would be
due to
increased competition in the market. Giving more time for
sports
and fun activities would be a possible alternative to overcome
pressure
among
children
.
This
essay will discuss the possible reasons and measures to reduce
stress
in
children
by taking examples from newspapers and journals.
To begin
with, currently,
children
are facing a
lot
of
stress
to achieve a successful
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
. The main
reason
for
this
kind of
pressure
would be
due to
fewer opportunities in the market, the increased global population is one of the prime
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
for limited opportunities for the
students
to work hard.
For instance
, In Japan to get an opportunity to study in universities,
students
should get at least 80% in both primary and secondary education.
As a result
, achieving
this
high percentage would
build
Verb problem
cause
show examples
a
lot
of
stress
in
children
.
Therefore
, it increases a
lot
of mental
stress
in youngsters.
Secondly
, there are possible measures where
this
stress
in
children
can be controlled. Participating in physical activities for 2 hours per day would be the best alternative for
children
to avoid
metal
Correct your spelling
mental
show examples
pressure
.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
recent study by Oxford University revealed that
children
who enjoy playing
sports
are more active and goal-oriented. In the same way, it
also
proved that
students
release a
lot
of mental
pressure
in
sports
to make themselves more energetic.
Therefore
, it is completely clear that giving quality time in the playground is the best option for
students
to balance their
stress
levels. In conclusion, It is absolutely clear that increasing competition for limited opportunities is one of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
for
children
to
stress
, and it can be controlled by giving some time for
sports
.
Submitted by gilbertnjohn on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the task and covers the main points, it can be further improved by providing more detailed explanations and elaborating on the examples given. Expanding on the reasons for the increased competition and linking them to the pressures more explicitly would enhance the response.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied transition words and phrases to link ideas and paragraphs smoothly. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that closely relates to the overall argument of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion. It effectively frames the discussion and summarizes the main points.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes relevant specific examples, such as the scenario in Japan and the Oxford University study, which help to illustrate the points being made.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
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