In some countries, children under 16 years old are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time work . Is this a good or bad thing ? Discuss your opinion.

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In some countries,
children
under 16 years old are prohibited by law from leaving
school
and taking up full-time work. Some believe
this
policy creates inequality,
while
others argue it is necessary to prevent significant future problems. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views and present my opinion. One serious problem with allowing
children
under 16 to leave
school
and work full-time is that it can lead to imbalanced behaviour and development. At
this
age,
according to
scientific studies, the brain is still developing, and young people may not have the maturity to handle adult responsibilities.
For example
, working in an industrial setting requires discipline and consistency, which young teenagers often lack.
Additionally
, many jobs involve potential dangers that require careful supervision and training, which young workers are not equipped to handle. In my opinion, keeping
children
in
school
until they are 16 years old is crucial for their personal and educational development. A compulsory
education
law ensures that all
children
have the opportunity to learn various subjects and prepare for higher
education
or future careers.
This
policy
also
alleviates the financial burden on low-income families, as they do not need to rely on their
children
to contribute to the household income. By reducing or eliminating
school
fees, governments can
further
support families and encourage them to prioritize
education
over child labour.
To conclude
,
while
there are arguments against the prohibition of child labour for those under 16, the benefits of keeping
children
in
school
far outweigh the drawbacks. Ensuring that all
children
receive a comprehensive
education
is essential for their development and future success. Implementing free
education
policies can help mitigate the financial challenges faced by low-income families, ultimately leading to a more educated and prosperous society.
Submitted by wulandarianggieta on

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relevant specific examples
While the main points are well-supported, adding more specific examples could further substantiate your arguments. For instance, citing studies or statistics regarding the impact of education on children's future success would strengthen your position.
complete response
To achieve a higher score, consider discussing counterarguments in more detail. Address potential criticisms and refute them effectively to display a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
logical structure
The essay maintains a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow the progression of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
A strong introduction and conclusion frame the essay well, providing a clear starting point and end point for your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, showcasing a deep understanding of the topic and effectively communicating your stance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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