In some countries, children under 16 years old are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time work . Is this a good or bad thing ? Discuss your opinion.

#countries #children #years #school #law #work

In some countries,

children

under 16 years old are prohibited by law from leaving

school

and taking up full-time work. Some believe

this

policy creates inequality,

while

others argue it is necessary to prevent significant future problems. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and present my opinion. One serious problem with allowing

children

under 16 to leave

school

and work full-time is that it can lead to imbalanced behaviour and development. At

this

age,

according to

scientific studies, the brain is still developing, and young people may not have the maturity to handle adult responsibilities.

For example

, working in an industrial setting requires discipline and consistency, which young teenagers often lack.

Additionally

, many jobs involve potential dangers that require careful supervision and training, which young workers are not equipped to handle. In my opinion, keeping

children

school

until they are 16 years old is crucial for their personal and educational development. A compulsory

education

law ensures that all

children

have the opportunity to learn various subjects and prepare for higher

education

or future careers.

This

policy

also

alleviates the financial burden on low-income families, as they do not need to rely on their

children

to contribute to the household income. By reducing or eliminating

school

fees, governments can

further

support families and encourage them to prioritize

education

over child labour.

To conclude

while

there are arguments against the prohibition of child labour for those under 16, the benefits of keeping

children

school

far outweigh the drawbacks. Ensuring that all

children

receive a comprehensive

education

is essential for their development and future success. Implementing free

education

policies can help mitigate the financial challenges faced by low-income families, ultimately leading to a more educated and prosperous society.

Submitted by wulandarianggieta on Sat Jul 20 2024

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relevant specific examples

While the main points are well-supported, adding more specific examples could further substantiate your arguments. For instance, citing studies or statistics regarding the impact of education on children's future success would strengthen your position.

complete response

To achieve a higher score, consider discussing counterarguments in more detail. Address potential criticisms and refute them effectively to display a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.

logical structure

The essay maintains a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow the progression of ideas.

introduction conclusion present

A strong introduction and conclusion frame the essay well, providing a clear starting point and end point for your arguments.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, showcasing a deep understanding of the topic and effectively communicating your stance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, children under 16 years old are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time work . Is this a good or bad thing ? Discuss your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction.

mineral fuels are the primary source of energy in many nations, but in some regions the use of renewable source of energy are encouraged

Students generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.