IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Today, the expensive price of popular consumer products is because of the power of advertising and not real needs of people. Do you agree or disagree?

#price #consumer #products #power #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's society,human beings live differently than they used to be. People consume various expensive products they actually don't in need for.
This
Linking Words
 situation can be attributed to many things, the power of advertisement being one of them. In ancient times, a human only needed food to eat,a place to sleep and water to clean himself/herself. Today, our perception of what we need is totally changed.
For example
Linking Words
, many people have more than one TV at their house and clothes that they've never worn before.
Firstly
Linking Words
,humanity comes from a state of poverty and storing things we don't actually need is a result of
this
Linking Words
. Some sociologists say that
this
Linking Words
 behaviour is encoded in our DNA. Knowing there is no changing that, one must try to be more responsible about what they buy.
Secondly
Linking Words
, we live in a world that more and more people have to face poverty every day.
For example
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of purchasing a new iPad people should donate that amount to charity organizations.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, I must point out the power of advertisement. Big companies spend tons of their money on advertising and there is a logic behind that. Most of these companies know how vulnerable the human brain is. In fact, they design the main points of the commercials according to that. When they get to customer's brain there is a certain urge form. While the urge makes consumers want to purchase things they don't need, the products they sell are almost always there. Capitalism designed trusting on
such
Linking Words
 behaviours. In conclusion, consuming is a trending habit of people.
This
Linking Words
 can be attributed to many aspects of human behaviour as well as the power of advertising.
Submitted by drselinbayrak on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: