Some people believe that software programming should be taught at primary school. Others think that the focus at this level should be on playing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Nowadays,

computers

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computer

show examples

engineering and

software

Use synonyms

programming occupations are more popular and common in job markets.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is frequently argued that students at primary

school

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ought to study

software

Use synonyms

programming,

while

Linking Words

other people believe that

children

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must spend their

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times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

at secondary

school

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for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing rather than focusing on hard academic topics. In my opinion, playing at primary

school

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is more beneficial for

children

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than studying subjects.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the

fact

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that

difficulties

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difficult

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topics make

children

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asocial persons. First and foremost, people why think that

prioritize

Wrong verb form

prioritising

show examples

software

Use synonyms

lessons at primary

school

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is that

children

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are able to improve their

problem- solving

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problem-solving

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skills

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in their

childhood

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. In

fact

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, when individuals advance their abilities in their

child

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child's

show examples

times

Use synonyms

, they

would

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will

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

expert

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experts

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in these fields

such

Linking Words

as digital literacy.

For example

Linking Words

, a survey shows that

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apply

show examples

most employees in computer science engineering are excellent in mathematics and creativity and innovation

skills

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This

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is in light of the

fact

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that they developed their those abilities

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apply

show examples

when they were kids.

As a result

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, they could succeed

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show examples

working professionally in

computer

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the computer

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engineering sector.

On the other hand

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, the main reason for believing

children

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at primary

school

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should play games and do physical activities is that

children

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need to improve their social abilities namely communication

others

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with others

show examples

and confidence.

In other words

Linking Words

, prominent beneficial

skills

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for kids are advancing their personality talents. They prepare them to live

better

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a better

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lifestyle in the future. As a matter of

fact

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, focusing on hard subjects

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show examples

childhood

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make

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makes

show examples

them

confusing

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confused

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and

overwhelming

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overwhelmed

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from social lifestyles.

For instance

Linking Words

, 75% of workers in iPhone

company is

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companies, which

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a well-known

organization

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organizations

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digital

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the digital

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sector are asocial and lonely. It is said that they spent their

childhood

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to learn

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learning

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hard academic topics rather than

contact

Wrong verb form

contacting

show examples

each other.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they could not touch on others correctly in their workplaces. Personally, I feel that

children

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need to play at primary

school

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is owing to the

fact

Use synonyms

that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

individual’s

Correct article usage

an individual’s

show examples

childhood

Use synonyms

times

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

more appropriate

Change preposition

for

show examples

enjoy

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

live

make

Verb problem

apply

show examples

entertainment time.

Hence

Linking Words

, they can create a good career in the future. In conclusion,

software

Use synonyms

programming should

educate

Wrong verb form

be educated

show examples

at primary

school

Use synonyms

or taught social lessons is a controversial topic. From my perspective,

children

Use synonyms

must

spent

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

their

Use synonyms

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

at primary

school

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing.

Reasons

Correct article usage

The reasons

show examples

mentioned above support it and

the

Correct your spelling

then

show examples

spend time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing

Change preposition

show examples

childhood

Use synonyms

helps them advance their personal social

skills

Use synonyms

ab.ciyaniWed Apr 03 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to discuss both views equally and provide clear examples to support your points. While you provided some examples, more specific and detailed examples could strengthen your argument.

coherence & cohesion

Try to improve your essay's clarity by avoiding typos or grammatical errors which could lead to misunderstandings. Proofreading your work can enhance the overall quality.

coherence & cohesion

Organize your essay in paragraphs clearly, each addressing a specific point. This helps in maintaining a logical flow and making your essay easier to follow.

task achievement

For a higher score in Task Achievement, ensure that your opinion is clear and consistently maintained throughout the essay. While your opinion was somewhat clear, reinforcing it in each section could be beneficial.

task achievement

You engaged well with the essay topic, demonstrating an understanding of the subject matter.

coherence & cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in making your argument accessible.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

396 words

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Some people believe that software programming should be taught at primary school. Others think that the focus at this level should be on playing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

Many believe that food education should be a mandatory part of the school curriculum. Discuss the reasons for and against this position

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagreee with this opinion?

Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this?