Some people believe that software programming should be taught at primary school. Others think that the focus at this level should be on playing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #software #school #focus #level

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Nowadays,

computers

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computer

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engineering and

software

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programming occupations are more popular and common in job markets.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is frequently argued that students at primary

school

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ought to study

software

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programming,

while

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other people believe that

children

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must spend their

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times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

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at secondary

school

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for

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apply

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playing rather than focusing on hard academic topics. In my opinion, playing at primary

school

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is more beneficial for

children

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than studying subjects.

This

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due to

Linking Words

the

fact

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that

difficulties

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difficult

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topics make

children

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asocial persons. First and foremost, people why think that

prioritize

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prioritising

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software

Use synonyms

lessons at primary

school

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is that

children

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are able to improve their

problem- solving

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problem-solving

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skills

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in their

childhood

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. In

fact

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, when individuals advance their abilities in their

child

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child's

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times

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, they

would

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will

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Correct article usage

apply

show examples

expert

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experts

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in these fields

such

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as digital literacy.

For example

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, a survey shows that

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apply

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most employees in computer science engineering are excellent in mathematics and creativity and innovation

skills

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This

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is in light of the

fact

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that they developed their those abilities

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apply

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when they were kids.

As a result

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, they could succeed

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working professionally in

computer

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the computer

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engineering sector.

On the other hand

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, the main reason for believing

children

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at primary

school

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should play games and do physical activities is that

children

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need to improve their social abilities namely communication

others

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with others

show examples

and confidence.

In other words

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, prominent beneficial

skills

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for kids are advancing their personality talents. They prepare them to live

better

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a better

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lifestyle in the future. As a matter of

fact

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, focusing on hard subjects

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childhood

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make

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makes

show examples

them

confusing

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confused

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and

overwhelming

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overwhelmed

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from social lifestyles.

For instance

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, 75% of workers in iPhone

company is

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companies, which

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a well-known

organization

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organizations

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digital

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the digital

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sector are asocial and lonely. It is said that they spent their

childhood

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to learn

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learning

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hard academic topics rather than

contact

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contacting

show examples

each other.

Consequently

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, they could not touch on others correctly in their workplaces. Personally, I feel that

children

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need to play at primary

school

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This

Linking Words

is owing to the

fact

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that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

individual’s

Correct article usage

an individual’s

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childhood

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times

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

more appropriate

Change preposition

for

show examples

enjoy

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

live

make

Verb problem

apply

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entertainment time.

Hence

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, they can create a good career in the future. In conclusion,

software

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programming should

educate

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be educated

show examples

at primary

school

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or taught social lessons is a controversial topic. From my perspective,

children

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must

spent

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spend

show examples

their

Use synonyms

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

at primary

school

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing.

Reasons

Correct article usage

The reasons

show examples

mentioned above support it and

the

Correct your spelling

then

show examples

spend time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing

Change preposition

show examples

childhood

Use synonyms

helps them advance their personal social

skills

Use synonyms

Submitted by ab.ciyani on Wed Apr 03 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to discuss both views equally and provide clear examples to support your points. While you provided some examples, more specific and detailed examples could strengthen your argument.

coherence & cohesion

Try to improve your essay's clarity by avoiding typos or grammatical errors which could lead to misunderstandings. Proofreading your work can enhance the overall quality.

coherence & cohesion

Organize your essay in paragraphs clearly, each addressing a specific point. This helps in maintaining a logical flow and making your essay easier to follow.

task achievement

For a higher score in Task Achievement, ensure that your opinion is clear and consistently maintained throughout the essay. While your opinion was somewhat clear, reinforcing it in each section could be beneficial.

task achievement

You engaged well with the essay topic, demonstrating an understanding of the subject matter.

coherence & cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in making your argument accessible.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

396 words

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Some people believe that software programming should be taught at primary school. Others think that the focus at this level should be on playing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that space travel is a waste of government money while others believe it is important for human development. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Some people think that reading is always a good habit , others feel it depends on which books a person is reading . Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.