IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some countries, it is possible for people to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

#countries #people #variety #food #world
Nowadays, people can enjoy more kinds of
food
 from foreign countries than before. While some people argue it may harm the development of
l
Add an article
the
show examples
ocal
food
 industry, I think there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more benefits by the trend of transporting
food
 globally. On the
one
 hand, when people have more choices for meals or snacks, they are more likely to try the alien
one
 as fashion, which may cause a negative impact on the local
food
productor
Correct your spelling
production
.
For example
, more and more young Japanese are crazy in bubble
tea
 from Taiwan, replacing the domine role of traditional green
tea
 as a leisure beverage.
Such
 a trend indirectly results in a falling number of
tea
 farmers. More importantly, importing
food
 could threat the domestic
one
 from the aspect of culture. While new generation
enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoys
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
foreign products, they are gradually losing their sense
on
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
l
Add an article
the
show examples
ocal
one
, which turn be so unpopular and
finally
 extinct.
On the other hand
, facing the challenge from foreigners, local productor may develop their skills and improve the
flavor
Change the spelling
flavour
show examples
 to attract more customers, which enhance the quality of foods for people. To protect and extend the market share, the domestic
food
 company would even create products for
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
oversea buyers. Many Japanese
tea
 producers have already adopted
such
 a strategy aiming the foreign market,
such
 as decrease the bitterness of the
tea
. It could be regarded as a
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 export since the green
tea
, as a symbol of Japan, is recognized internationally. To conclude,
although
 the imports of
food
 is a challenge, both local productor and customers would be benefited.
Submitted by s1111952 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: