IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

MANY PEOPLE ARE NOW SPENDING MORE AND MORE TIME TRAVELLING TO WORK OR SCHOOL. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT THIS IS A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT WHILE OTHERS THINK THERE ARE SOME BENEFITS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

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Folks are now exploring
for
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apply
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jobs or teaching-oriented to pass their period extensively. Some individuals suppose that there are drawbacks
for
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to
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 the improvement whilst
another
Correct quantifier usage
others
show examples
 think that there are
the
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apply
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positive sides
of
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to
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this
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epidemics
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epidemic
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. There are advantages and disadvantages
for
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to
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 both of the arguments.
To begin
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 with, people have to do their specific jobs to survive. It seems undeniable that a person has to earn money to meet
up
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apply
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his fundamental benefits.
As a result
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, if a man or a woman engages himself or herself in a job it benefits him or her to acquire money in a superficial way.
For instance
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, if a folk assign himself
in
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to
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 a database operation he can earn sufficient money to pass his days very well.
Therefore
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, there is no need to add himself or herself
in
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to
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 any
extra curriculum
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
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 activities.
On the contrary
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, we are now living in
Correct article usage
a
show examples
modern culture and society. The world is not limited now as aforetime. Today people prefer to keep themselves busy
in
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with
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 various types of
works
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work
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.
Hence
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, they are not idle like their ascendants. By engaging themselves in the journey to tasks or educational institutions they can learn creative ideas. For
this
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, by achieving new themes, they can share their latest theory
overall
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.
For example
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, if a person is a teacher and
wish
Correct subject-verb agreement
wishes
show examples
 to go outside his area, he can scatter his knowledge to the outside person and taking outside knowledge he can retract it to his students. In conclusion,
persons
Replace the word
people
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 have to assign
to
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apply
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their individual
works
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work
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 as he is apt
that
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to that
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 tasks.
However
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, to develop themselves in
the
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apply
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various
way
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ways
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 different types of knowledge must be acquired
whatever
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whether
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 he is skilful in his own jobs.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity of your arguments by providing more structured points and logical transitions between them.
task achievement
Expand your examples to illustrate your points more effectively, explaining how they support your arguments.
language use
Refine your language and use more precise vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and presents both sides of the argument, which is a good practice in IELTS writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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