It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishments is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ? What sort of punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children ?

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There is no denying the fact that
children
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must learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that
punishment
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is necessary to help them learn
this
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, there is
also
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an argument that opposes it, saying
children
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can be taught using only positive methods. In my opinion, I consider that
punishment
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is sometimes necessary, but it must be gentle and used carefully.
To begin
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with, small punishments can help
children
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understand the results of their actions.
In other words
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, when a
child
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does something wrong, they should learn that actions have consequences.
In addition
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, fair
punishment
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can guide
children
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to behave better in the future.
For example
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, if a
child
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refuses to do homework, a suitable
punishment
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like losing screen time can help them take school more seriously. Another point to be considered is that
punishment
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must never harm a
child
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physically or emotionally. It is
also
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possible to say that positive discipline, like warnings or timeouts, can be more effective than shouting or hitting.
Moreover
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, both parents and teachers should explain why a
child
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is being punished so the
child
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can learn from the mistake.
For instance
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, asking a
child
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to apologize or to fix a problem they caused teacher responsibility.
To sum up
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, despite people having different points of view, I believe that small and respectful punishments can be helpful when teaching
children
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how to differ right from wrong.
However
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, the goal should always be to teach, not to hurt or scare the
child
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.

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Task Response
The introduction effectively presents the topic and your stance, but it could benefit from more clarity regarding your specific viewpoint on the necessity of punishment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The arguments in your body paragraphs are logical, but consider providing more examples to strengthen your points and enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
In the conclusion, reiterate your main points more clearly to ensure that your argument is fully summarized and resonates with the reader.
Task Response
Your essay presents a balanced view of the necessity of punishment while also addressing the importance of non-harmful methods.
Task Response
The use of specific examples, such as losing screen time for homework refusal, adds credibility to your arguments.
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