IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The best way to measure someone's success is to look at how much money that person has. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, many
people
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 think that
money
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 can solve all problems. Some say that if a
person
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 is very successful, it means that
this
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person
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 is very rich.
Money
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 is often seen as an indicator of
success
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:
Punctuation problem
;
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 if you are successful, you must have a lot of wealth. In
this
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 essay, I will explain why I disagree with
this
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 opinion and present my reasons. On the one hand, a
person
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’s
success
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 is not based on the amount of
money
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 in their pocket. If we are talking about a
person
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’s achievements, they can be in any field, from acting to gaining admission to a prestigious university.
For example
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, a
person
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 who studied all their
life
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, worked hard, and won a scholarship to enter Harvard achieved
this
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 entirely on their own.
This
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 is their personal victory. It is not necessary for them to have been extremely rich; perhaps they came from a poor family, but through
perseverance
Add a comma
perseverance,
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 they reached
this
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 peak by themselves.
Secondly
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, if we look at celebrities, are all of them truly rich? I do not think so. A
person
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 can be incredibly successful and still live out their old age in poverty.
However
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, I admit that most media personalities do have
money
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.
This
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 is undeniable, but
success
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 is not based only on publicity or fame.
For instance
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, my friend dreamed about studying at Cambridge all her
life
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. She studied hard, and now she studies at
this
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 university.
This
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 proves that
success
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 is about achieving personal goals, not only about earning
money
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.
On the other hand
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, in my opinion,
people
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 who believe that
money
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 equals
success
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 may sometimes feel jealous of those who have achieved something meaningful in
life
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, whether it is starting from small beginnings and opening a company, becoming a model, or becoming a singer. It is often easier to judge others than to achieve something yourself. When
people
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 become successful but are not extremely wealthy, some find it strange.
For example
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, when someone rises from humble beginnings — perhaps by starting a small business, becoming a respected teacher, or building a loving family — without becoming very rich, it can feel uncomfortable to those who value
money
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 above everything else. In reality,
such
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 judgments usually reflect the critics’ own insecurities rather than
objective
Correct article usage
the objective
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 truth. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
money
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 is not the best way to measure a
person
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’s
success
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. As I mentioned at the beginning, many
people
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 think that wealth shows everything, but real
success
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 is much more than that. It comes from hard work, achieving personal goals, helping others, and feeling happiness inside — not just from having a large bank account. Judging
success
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 only by
money
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 ignores the many different ways
people
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 can succeed and reduces
life
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 to a race for riches. True
success
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 is deeper, more personal, and far more meaningful than any amount of
money
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.

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task
Keep a clear view in each paragraph and add strong examples for each idea.
coherence
Link ideas with simple joins like first, next, also, but, for example, and keep ideas in a smooth line.
content
Use one good example for each point and show how it backs the idea.
language
Check small errors in word form and grammar to aid reading.
argument
The writer keeps a clear view that money is not the only mark of success.
structure
The essay uses real life examples and a final wrap to close the point.
coherence
The order of points is easy to follow and easy to read.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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