NOWADAYS MANY PEOPLE CHOOSE TO BE SELF-EMPLOYED.RATHER THAN TO WORK FOR A COMPANY OR ORGANIZATION. WHY MIGHT THIS BE THE CASE? WHAT COULD BE THE DISADVANTAGES OF BEING SELF-EMPLOYED?

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We are living in a world that
self-employment
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is a recent phenomenon
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,

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especially in developed countries.People have an inclination to
work
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for themselves
instead
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of working for other parties.I will outline not only possible reasons
of
Verify preposition usage
for

It appears that the preposition of may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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this
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situation but
also
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d
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the

It appears that an article is missing before the word disadvantages. Consider adding the article.

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isadvantages of it in the meantime. There are many factors which lead people to
self-employment
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.
First
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of all, workloads which are put on people by their employers can be counted as a reason. Especially, in big companies, employees are working so hard in order to win market competitions.Following
this
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,
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

w
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a

The noun phrase work environment seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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ork environment which is full of ambitious people can be unhealthy for people.Because constant race between them may cause psychological problems
such
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as anxiety and stress.
Secondly
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, recent advancements in technology may be the reason for
self-employment
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
As
Verify preposition usage
Artifical

It appears that the preposition As may be unnecessary in this context. Consider removing it.

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artifical
Correct your spelling
artificial

The word artifical is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

intelligence like computers help people to manage their own business.Take e-commerce as an example.By working from home, people are able to sell their products and ideas through
i
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the

The noun phrase internet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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nternet.
On the other hand
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, there are disadvantages which may be encountered when people run their own works.
Initially
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, people have to deal with all problems which are related to their jobs by themselves.They carry full responsibility and
as a result
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Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase as a result. Consider adding a comma.

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it can be soul-consuming.
In addition
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, it may be risky in terms of
e
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the

It appears that an article is missing before the word economic. Consider adding the article.

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conomic approach.Because all expenses have to be paid without any support or fund. In conclusion, people prefer to
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for themselves because toxic
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

environment and rush in
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

work place
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workplace

The word work place seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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lead people
l
Add the particle
to

It appears that the verb leave should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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eave their works.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, thanks to modern technologies, people have a chance to
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by themselves.Despite some disadvantages which I mention above , I am
p
Add an article
a

The noun phrase proponent seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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roponent of the
self-employment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
What to do next:
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