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Band 7.5

Some people believe that the government should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion?

#people #government #care #support #individuals #years #fund #retirement
In
this
 present world, some people think the responsibility of
government
 to provide a better
life
 to employees after they retire when others think that would be workers responsible to secure their
life
 after retirement.
This
 essay completely agrees with the suggestion that it a duty for an individual to collect enough
money
 before retire. In
this
 essay, we will discuss both views
then
 clear my opinion.
Firstly
, the
government
 will take a huge responsibility if work in secure high-quality
life
 for each retired worker.
For instance
, the budget will be greatest and many services will take a lot of energy
also
 times to be available to
this
 kind of people.
However
, that time and vibes better to be in another area
such
 as helping poor people, because the retired person was in someday a staff member and receive
money
 from state so, his duty to save some
money
 to their retirement stage.
Secondly
, some people think the state duty to provide a good
life
 for the worker but they ignore many disadvantages.
For example
, when the workers now the state will pay
also
 for him after become retiring, they will learn to be lazy and do not save any
money
 for themself.
Also
 if they stopped working for their community they should stop
also
 to take any salary from
government
 as well as leave a place available for fresh graduate students to have work and budget. In conclusion, in my opinion, the
government
 indeed look after many people in the community
such
 as workers and student
furthermore
 in health area look after sick people and support them with good health care which means the
money
 in these fields was a lot and to aftercare,the people who retired is a selfish idea as the retired was workers someday with enough
money
 so they need to save their own retirement
life
.
Submitted by noufalahmadi819 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial support
  • retirement
  • government intervention
  • contribute to society
  • financial independence
  • safety net
  • personal responsibility
  • self-reliance
  • financial education
  • incentives
  • individual circumstances
  • sustainable
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