Some people believe that the government should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion?

#people #government #care #support #individuals #years #fund #retirement

this

present world, some people think the responsibility of

government

to provide a better

life

to employees after they retire when others think that would be workers responsible to secure their

life

after retirement.

This

essay completely agrees with the suggestion that it a duty for an individual to collect enough

money

before retire. In

this

essay, we will discuss both views

then

clear my opinion.

Firstly

, the

government

will take a huge responsibility if work in secure high-quality

life

for each retired worker.

For instance

, the budget will be greatest and many services will take a lot of energy

also

times to be available to

this

kind of people.

However

, that time and vibes better to be in another area

such

as helping poor people, because the retired person was in someday a staff member and receive

money

from state so, his duty to save some

money

to their retirement stage.

Secondly

, some people think the state duty to provide a good

life

for the worker but they ignore many disadvantages.

For example

, when the workers now the state will pay

also

for him after become retiring, they will learn to be lazy and do not save any

money

for themself.

Also

if they stopped working for their community they should stop

also

to take any salary from

government

as well as leave a place available for fresh graduate students to have work and budget. In conclusion, in my opinion, the

government

indeed look after many people in the community

such

as workers and student

furthermore

in health area look after sick people and support them with good health care which means the

money

in these fields was a lot and to aftercare,the people who retired is a selfish idea as the retired was workers someday with enough

money

so they need to save their own retirement

life

Submitted by noufalahmadi819 on Fri Nov 13 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial support
retirement
government intervention
contribute to society
financial independence
safety net
personal responsibility
self-reliance
financial education
incentives
individual circumstances
sustainable

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Some people believe that the government should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel the best way to reduce the number of accidents on the road is to further limit the speed of vehicles. Others think that there are better ways to tackle this issue. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Many think in today's world it is very difficult for people to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Others, However, feel that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think imported food exerts positive impact on our lives. What exent do you agree or disagree?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourist as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. The advantages and disadvantages of this fact.