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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that managers are responsible for the organization’s success, while others think various features of the organization play a vital role in it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is a prevailing belief that the
success
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 of an
organization
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 is solely attributed to the effectiveness of its managers,
whereas
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 others argue that the various attributes of an
organization
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 as a whole are equally important for its
success
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and offer an opinion on the matter.
Firstly
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, proponents of the view that managers are primarily responsible for an
organization
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's
success
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 argue that effective leadership and
management
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 are crucial in steering the company towards its objectives. A capable manager is adept at decision-making, strategizing, and fostering a productive work environment.
For instance
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, a study conducted by Harvard Business Review found that companies with strong and visionary leaders at the helm tend to outperform their counterparts in terms of profitability and employee satisfaction.
On the other hand
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, those who advocate for the importance of various features of the
organization
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 posit that
success
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 is contingent upon a multitude of factors beyond just managerial prowess. These factors may include the organizational culture, the quality of products or services, efficient operational processes, and the collective talents and skills of the workforce.
For instance
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, the
success
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 of tech giant Apple Inc. can be attributed not only to its CEO, but
also
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 to its innovative product design, strong brand image, and commitment to excellence in customer experience. In my opinion,
while
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 effective
management
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 is undeniably vital for organizational
success
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, it is intrinsically interconnected with various organizational features. A competent manager can only flourish in an environment where the workforce is skilled and motivated, the organizational structure is well-defined, and the company culture fosters collaboration and innovation. An example of
this
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 interdependence can be seen in companies that underwent a change in leadership and
subsequently
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 experienced a turnaround in performance
due to
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 a combination of improved
management
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 and organizational restructuring. In conclusion, the
success
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 of an
organization
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 is not solely the responsibility of its managers, but a result of the collective contribution of various organizational elements. Effective
management
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, when
coupled with
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 a conducive organizational environment and well-functioning operational features, is a recipe for sustained
success
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.

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cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed with specific details and linked back to the overall thesis of the essay. There is room for improvement in building a more cohesive argument by connecting ideas and examples more tightly.
introduction/conclusion
Although your introduction and conclusion are present, they could be strengthened by more explicitly outlining your stance in the introduction and reinforcing your key arguments in the conclusion.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task, including a thorough discussion of both views and your own opinion. Aim for a balanced discussion that weighs both sides before clearly articulating and supporting your own viewpoint.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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