IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to learn about business is to study a course at college or university. Others believe that there are other better ways to learn about business. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

An overwhelming number of
people
Use synonyms
 consider that the leading method of studying all about the
business
Use synonyms
 is to take courses
while
Linking Words
 studying at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 college or
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, opponents argue and believe that other ways exist to get
knowledge
Use synonyms
 about the
business
Use synonyms
 field. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 create their own careers to get specific
knowledge
Use synonyms
 of doing
business
Use synonyms
, I believe that the effect of building
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 solid base by studying the fundamentals of
business
Use synonyms
 is more significant. Admittedly, there is a widespread belief that building your own career can help you
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
 of running
Use synonyms
business
Correct article usage
a business
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 well.
In other words
Linking Words
, aspiring entrepreneurs start
doing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
their own companies without any specific skills.
As a result
Linking Words
, they have to understand the
business
Use synonyms
 process with the help of other
people
Use synonyms
. They begin learning how to account
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 debts and credits, how to work with marketing, corporate culture
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 well as they should know how to satisfy the customer’s needs.
For instance
Linking Words
, the famous figures
such
Linking Words
 as Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak established the company Apple in
Correct article usage
the 1980’s
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1980’s
Check wording
1980s
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 without any specific skills in that field
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they had to understand how to sell their products and
identified
Wrong verb form
identify
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 the target audience.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the best way to understand how the
business
Use synonyms
 works is to build the fundamental
knowledge
Use synonyms
 at college or university.
In other words
Linking Words
, students can ask their professors
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
various
Replace the word
variety
show examples
number
Check wording
apply
show examples
of questions during their classes
as well as
Linking Words
 try to tackle different real cases of huge corporations.
For example
Linking Words
, at Stanford
university
Fix capitalization
University
show examples
, students may go to the
business
Use synonyms
 incubator to create
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
organization
Use the right word
organisation
show examples
 with real tasks
such
Linking Words
 as creating
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 strategy and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 product, identifying the target audience and their needs
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
hence
Linking Words
, make the company in the ideal conditions before registering in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real life. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 may vary in their opinions, I am firmly convinced that building the fundamental proficiency of doing
business
Use synonyms
 is the crucial part before making the company in the real world.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear view in the first line. Use one idea per paragraph and give a final line that states your view.
content
Give real and clear examples or facts to back your point, not just names.
grammar
Fix grammar. Use short, simple sentences. Check for long sentences that blend ideas.
coherence
Use linking words well to move from one idea to the next.
content
You show a clear view in the last part.
structure
You give two sides and try to compare.
content
Examples are used to make your point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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