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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Parents should take courses in parenting in order to improve the lives of their children. To what extent do you agree?

#parents #courses #lives #children
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People who
has
Change the verb form
have
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 children take care
Verify preposition usage
of
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their children and
also
Linking Words
envolve
Correct your spelling
involve
 children's lives.I absolutely agree
Verify preposition usage
with
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this
Linking Words
 opinion.There are a lot of
couses
Correct your spelling
courses
causes
 in here why parents take courses in parenting in order to develop their children's lives.
Firstly
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,sometimes,both of parents have not any time to educate their children.In
this
Linking Words
 position
Add a comma
,
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parents should take courses their children,because,education is important that children would
be improve
Change the verb form
be improved
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.
For example
Linking Words
,if children educate well,they will become
Correct your spelling
necessary
n
Add an article
a
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ecessery person
on
Verify preposition usage
in
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 future.
Second
Linking Words
, kindergartens, schools, courses are good places where children are educated in there.Teachers,psychologists take care of them.One clear example is teachers take interest
of
Verify preposition usage
in
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 their eating,drinking,sleeping in kindergarten,
although
Linking Words
 they teach new stories,poems and a lot of
intelectual
Correct your spelling
intellectual
 games.
On the other hand
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 opinion has bad aspects.Children spend time with their parents less. To sum up it is observed that some children
loves
Change the verb form
love
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 their mother and father lesser.İt is complicate family relationships. In conclusion,despite some negative effects ,I agree parents must take courses in parenting in order to
envolve
Correct your spelling
involve
evolve
 the lives of their children.
Submitted by meleksima89 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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