IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#countries #people #health #food #government #tax
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In the
last
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 years, the number of fast-
food
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 companies has dramatically increased. People think of fast
food
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 as
a delicious
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delicious food
a portion of delicious food
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food
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 and easy to eat.
Moreover
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, workers have always less
time
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 free
time
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 and more job-
time
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,
thus
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, they are trying to save
time
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 in a particular situation and relax or put more
time
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 in other activities. I would start analysing the drawbacks
first
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 in
this
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 essay and afterwords the advantages. The
first
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 disadvantage of fast
food
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 is the quality of the products, they are not
Verify preposition usage
as
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healthy as it could seem.
Moreover
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, companies use chemical products to boost up the taste of your burger or they add chemical substance to make burgers
last
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 longer.
Therefore
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, all of those non-natural products are unhealthy and could lead to physical problems.
Additionally
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, I would insert the lower price of the
food
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 as a drawback. Even though it could be a positive aspect for some people, in my point of view I would consider it as the worst negative aspect because lower price means
l
Add an article
the
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ower budget for the production and the bad unstable situation for animals. Turning to the other side of the argument, the low price of fast
food
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 could help out people with low income. Many people eat regularity in
f
Add an article
a
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ast
food
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 restaurant because they can't afford expensive places.
Secondly
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, another advantage of
that is
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 the rapid services. Many people don't have
time
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 to have lunch in a restaurant because they need to go back to work or for other reasons.
Thus
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, fast foods can provide them
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with
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a fast service than other restaurants. We need to take into account different aspects of our discussions, but in my point of view, the drawbacks overcome the positive aspects.
Thus
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, I would impose
an
Change the article
a
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 higher tax on them, the companies are very nocive for the society and had a bad impact on people. The taste of the burger could be good and could be cheaper than other slow foods but the huge amount of health issues are not justifiable. In conclusion, the government should analyse very careful
Verify preposition usage
about
of
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the situation and act according to that.
Submitted by massimo.bertocchi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overconsumption
  • Chronic diseases
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Sin tax
  • Subsidize
  • Affordability
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Paternalism
  • Socio-economic disparities
  • Industry lobbying
  • Public health initiatives
  • Consumer behavior
  • Regulatory measures
  • Health-conscious
  • Processed foods
  • Fiscal policy
  • Preventative healthcare
  • Behavioral economics
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