IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people today find they have insufficient time to spend with their families, because of pressures of work. What problems does this create for individuals and their families? What solutions can you propose? Which would be the most effective solution, in your view?

#people #time #families #pressures #work #create #individuals
In recent days, the issue of many people
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 not enough
time
 to spend with their families since
p
Add an article
the
show examples
ressure of work has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Several causes of
this
 situation should be identified before any actual solutions are improved. There are some challenges related to
this
 issue.
First
, since the workload is overwhelmed, people could easily suffer stress themselves.
For instance
, when a person is working long hours, their ability to relax is extremely curtailed, which rapidly leads to mental anxiety and hardly play with their relatives.
Second
, by spending
time
 finishing work, there will be a distance among workers, their spouse and their children.
This
 means that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 family members may be getting used to the absence of a father or mother, which may gradually damage the natural bonds that bind a family together. There are some remedies to tackle these dangers. If employers incorporate a fixed amount of free
time
 into their workers’ schedules, people would have more chances to interact with family others.
For example
, companies might commit to a policy
such
 as no extra work out of 9-to-5 or no overtime, which would lessen the anxiety of high workloads and preserve family
time
.
Furthermore
, in order to maximize the amount of free
time
 that workers have, it is encouraged
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
the use of relaxation techniques among workers. In fact, family activities or family events can be used to optimize any opportunities for unwinding and strengthening family connections. In conclusion, the main concerns could be stress and potential family breakdown which are far more compelling. By spending
l
Add a pronoun
their
show examples
eisure
time
 effectively, people will be better with their relatives.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. **Flexible working hours**: Work schedules that allow employees to vary their arrival and departure times.
  • 2. **Remote working**: Working from a location other than the traditional office, usually from home.
  • 3. **Work-life balance**: The equilibrium between personal life and career work.
  • 4. **Mental health**: A person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being.
  • 5. **Paid family leave**: Time off work with pay granted to employees to take care of family members.
  • 6. **Time management**: The process of planning and exercising conscious control of time spent on specific activities.
  • 7. **Prioritize**: To arrange or deal with in order of importance.
  • 8. **Guilt**: A feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation.
  • 9. **Neglected**: Suffering a lack of proper care.
  • 10. **Behavioral issues**: Actions and mannerisms exhibited by individuals, often resulting from stress or emotional instability.
  • 11. **Support systems**: Networks of people who provide an individual with practical or emotional support.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: