IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public spaces such as squares and parks. Do you agree or disagree?

#towns #cities #spaces #squares #parks
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people claim that large public spaces are an indispensable part
in
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
 every city’s infrastructure. While it is true that those spaces significantly improve residents’ living standard, I would argue that they are not suitable for all cities in the world.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are several advantages of communal places that cannot be neglected.
Firstly
Linking Words
, squares and parks provide citizens with free enormous spaces and beautiful green areas, which are ideal for people to keep exercising.
Therefore
Linking Words
, outdoor public locations are important to residents’ physical health. Since individuals are fit and healthy, they work more effectively and contribute more to society.
Secondly
Linking Words
, due to the development of modern technology, many people are spending very little time interacting with society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, having easy access to
o
Add an article
an
show examples
utdoor communal room helps people get involved in different social activities and strengthen the human bonding.
For example
Linking Words
, at the weekend a teenager can go to the park with his or her friends for camping or chatting
instead
Linking Words
 of staying at home and playing video games all day.
However
Linking Words
, I would argue that outdoor shared locations
such
Linking Words
 as parks and squares are not suitable for all cities in the world. The
first
Linking Words
 reason is that a number of cities
such
Linking Words
 as Sao Paulo, Brazil and Mumbai, India are facing the problem of overpopulation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, those cities’ space should be utilized to build accommodation for citizens there
instead
Linking Words
 of constructing big public areas. Another reason is that many undeveloped cities’ budgets are limited.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the expenditures on radical sectors
such
Linking Words
 as education and medicine should be those cities’ priorities. Building
such
Linking Words
 enormous shared places will be an unnecessary burden on cities’ financial budgets and lead to
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 decrease
of
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 government spending on other important sectors In sum, there is no doubt that outdoor public spaces are beneficial to citizens’ quality of lives.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that building those constructions or not is up to each city’s condition and financial budget.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: