Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.

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It is often held that

zoos

Use synonyms

should be closed down

due to

Linking Words

their workers’ cruelty.

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

think

this

Linking Words

reason is predominant, others think that

zoos

Use synonyms

can be useful in protecting

animals

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of the latter. On the one hand, some

people

Use synonyms

are of the opinion that

zoo

Use synonyms

employees are violent, so

zoos

Use synonyms

should be cut down. In my opinion, these thoughts are the consequence of workers’ bad responsibilities.

For instance

Linking Words

, these responsibilities include giving some water, food, etc. Because there are lots of situations when some tourists from other countries come to see wild

animals

Use synonyms

like lions, cheetahs and hippos they will not be in their cages or when they will just lie down doing nothing. One clear example of

this

Linking Words

is when I went to the biggest

zoo

Use synonyms

in our country, there were plenty of

animals

Use synonyms

that did not have the will to do something.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

group of

people

Use synonyms

believe that

zoos

Use synonyms

should be cut down.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, other

people

Use synonyms

admit that

zoos

Use synonyms

have lots of useful things for protecting their

animals

Use synonyms

. If we say more specifically, these

people

Use synonyms

believe that

zoos

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can protect the

animals

Use synonyms

that are in danger of disappearing.

For example

Linking Words

, we can take snow leopards. In our country, Kazakhstan, there are only a few of these

animals

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and they were entered into our red book.

Red

Add an article

The red

A red

show examples

book is the book with the list of disappearing

animals

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. Snow leopards live in the mountains in Almaty in the south of Kazakhstan, so we can see these

animals

Use synonyms

from the

zoo

Use synonyms

that is

Linking Words

located in Almaty

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

when I was in the Almaty

zoo

Use synonyms

I saw these

animals

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too and I was shocked. Because, if we compare

between

Change preposition

apply

show examples

other

animals

Use synonyms

zoos

Use synonyms

from other cities, they were in good condition and totally active for a long time.

That is

Linking Words

why the other group of

people

Use synonyms

admit that

zoos

Use synonyms

are good for protecting wild and disappearing

animals

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, there were lots of debates arguing that

zoos

Use synonyms

are cruel,

while

Linking Words

others think that

zoos

Use synonyms

are useful for providing better conditions for

animals

Use synonyms

. Personally, in my point of view,

zoos

Use synonyms

are the best for all

animals

Use synonyms

dnm.bestWed Sep 04 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that all ideas are fully developed and clearly explained. The argument about zoo employees' negligence could be expanded with more specific examples.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. The essay sometimes jumps abruptly between different points, which affects readability.

task achievement

Make sure to have a clearer and more formal conclusion. The current conclusion is slightly informal and could be more concise.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear and well-organized introduction and conclusion, setting up and summarizing the discussion effectively.

task achievement

Specific examples are used to support the arguments, such as the mention of snow leopards in Kazakhstan. This enhances the relevance and specificity of the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

373 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

animal welfare
conservation
captive breeding
habitat
ethical issues
zoochosis
endangered species
genetic diversity
reintroduction programs
wildlife education
sanctuary
natural living conditions
artificial environments
behavioral enrichment
ecosystem

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Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.

Your opinion

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

it is the duty of government to fight with obesity by imposing taxes. agree or disagree

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?