IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Young people say that travelling to different countries benefits them and the society. Do you agree or disagree. Give your opinion

#people #countries #society
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In
this
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 modern era, globetrotting among young generations become more popular from time to time. It is
undebateable
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undebatable
debatable
 that
this
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 trend of travelling in
this
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 global village has
p
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a
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ositive influence on both societies as well as
y
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the
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outh population. I strongly concur with
this
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 ideology and
also
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hashout
Correct your spelling
hash out
 my viewpoint in the following paragraphs. To commence with, there are many
a
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apply
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reason
of
Verify preposition usage
for
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 tourism that provide benefits among youth.
Firstly
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, there are numerous educational and job
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 to the students in the various parts of the world.
This
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 development is helpful for their career growth or even they can pursue their avocations. To elucidate,
inspite
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in spite
 of choosing professional jobs
such
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 as
p
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a
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hysician, engineer or lawyer ,they can doctorate in skilled trades
such
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 as chefs, photographers,
e
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an
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lectrician with their best interest .
Moreover
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, in my viewpoint, while travelling in foreign countries, adults come across
w
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a
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ide variety of cultural exchange that
also
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 broaden their horizons and develop
openmindedness
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open-mindedness
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that is
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also
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 a great achievement.
Further
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 reinforcing my viewpoint,
v
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the
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oyage has greater influence among societies all over the world.
Initially
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,
t
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the
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ourism industry provides wages to hundreds of thousands of people ergo to rapidly rise in
g
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the
a
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lobal journey by the hoards of people.
For instance
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, 15% of
p
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the
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opulation in developing nation earn their money from the tourism industry.
Furthermore
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, foreign tourists contribute to the economy of
h
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the
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ost country with the money they spend in certain ways
such
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 as by buying some goods and products, transportation and
accomodation
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accommodation
accommodating
. From the aforementioned, I draw out the conclusion that
eventhough
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even though
 there is no doubt that travelling has multifarious advantages for individuals or societies,
however
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Add the comma(s)
,
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one should not
abandoned
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abandon
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 his/her own heritage. By and large, it is a
postive
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positive
 development to be a part of
b
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the
a
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ig planet.
Submitted by gagans008899 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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