IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It could be argued that technology makes our lives easier and simpler. But there are certainly people who feel life has become more complicated due to modern inventions. Which opinion do you agree with? In your essay, include supporting details.

#technology #lives #people #life #inventions
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that new inventions have changed our
lives
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 in a positive way,
while
Linking Words
 others say it has made life more difficult since technology develops at a fast pace. I totally agree that technology has made our
lives
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 smoother than
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 used to be because now lots of
tasks
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,
such
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 as going to the bank or buying food, can be done through the phone, and communicating with
people
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 has become much faster. New technological devices can perform many
tasks
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 that used to take a long time in the past.
For example
Linking Words
, mobile apps can transfer money and sell stocks in the market. These
tasks
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 used to require
people
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 to go outside and turn their cars on.
However
Linking Words
, now
people
Use synonyms
 can do all of that
while
Linking Words
 sitting in their beds and wearing pyjamas.
Moreover
Linking Words
, using these devices allows them to order food from their favourite restaurants without bothering to change their clothes.
For example
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,
according to
Linking Words
 New York magazine, there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
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 who are going out to eat
as
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a date. Another reason why I believe that technology has had a beneficial impact on our
lives
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 is that
people
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 can communicate with anyone, even if they are in outer space.
For example
Linking Words
, scientists who work and conduct experiments in space can keep in touch with their loved ones and friends.
This
Linking Words
 is why I believe that these technologies have more advantages than disadvantages. In conclusion,
although
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 some say that new inventions have made our
lives
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 more difficult, I believe that they have brought many benefits,
such
Linking Words
 as managing financial
tasks
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 and communicating with their families.
Submitted by layan992015 on

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coherence
To enhance coherence, try using more linking phrases to smoothly transition between ideas. This would help guide the reader through your argument more clearly.
task achievement
Strengthen task achievement by including more specific examples or personal anecdotes. This adds depth and supports your arguments effectively.
introduction and conclusion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion and summarizing the main argument.
logical structure
The reasoning is logical, with a clear stance on the positive impacts of technology. This helps in clearly communicating your viewpoint.
relevant examples
Relevant examples about financial transactions and communication advancements underscore your points well, even if more detail could enhance them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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