IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #people #salaries #country #government #control #limit #amount
There is
o
Add an article
an
show examples
ngoing debate about a gap between the rich and the poor and how to end it. Some argue that earning a lot of money by a few people is beneficial for the country, whereas others disagree and think that there should be a limit on how high salary can be. Even though both sides have convincing arguments, I believe that there are better solutions to decrease the aforementioned gap.
To begin
 with, people, who support
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
control over workers’ salaries, believe that limiting the possible income would bring more equality in
society
.
Consequently
Add a comma
,
show examples
it would prevent the rich from gaining unfair ascendancy over certain aspects of
society
.
Moreover
, capping high salaries will increase the amount of funding for public services which will benefit all people in
society
.
On the other hand
,
this
 solution is hurtful for highly skilled and talented people who should be rewarded for their hard work. Some jobs are extremely dangerous or unpleasant.
High
Add an article
A high
show examples
 salary is a way to entice people to do them.
For instance
, an underwater welder is one of the most perilous careers but contemporaneously is needed in
society
. Seldom can we encourage people to consider working in
such
 fields without offering them an accurate reward,
therefore
 it would be irresponsible to withdraw it
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Additionally
, if the
government controlled
Add a hyphen
government-controlled
show examples
 salaries, people would simply leave a country to seek work somewhere else.
As a result
, a country would lack specialists in many fields. In conclusion, the government should certainly do something to lessen the disparity.
However
, I have no doubt that putting the limit of the amount of money people can earn is not the best way to do that.
Instead
, the government should empower the poor people and help them earn a good salary by offering them free education and training.
Submitted by agatazda on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: