Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and uses up the world’s fuel resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
contemporary era, the world is changing rapidly and dramatically. Nowadays, aviation industries have taken gigantic steps. Flights are readily and frequently available on
the airports. So, some Change preposition
at
people
think that air
travel should be restricted, whereas
others argue that there are many possible solutions to reduce pollution
. I cent per cent agree with the latter view.
First and foremost, the government cannot simply discourage air
travelling, because it is interconnected with other business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
such
as tourism, leisure centres and so on. Due to
it, if the regime restricts the flights, then
these businesses will also
hit hard, because
of Correct word choice
and because
it
many Correct pronoun usage
this
people
will be unemployed, who are working in these sectors. Also
, international tourism is the backbone of many countries.
In addition
to the above, migration is a process and it has been running since ancient times. Travelling provides an opportunity to learn many things from different cultures in the world. Intercultural exchanges may improve communication with other nations also
.
On the other hand
, all vehicles consume oil and cause pollution
, so it is unnecessary to restrict air
travel only, owing to it
use Correct pronoun usage
its
ample
quantities of fuel. The state should encourage green fuel and renewable energy, which are effective alternatives to fossil fuels. Change preposition
of ample
For example
, if people
use biodiesel, then
the pollution
will cause
Wrong verb form
caused
through
its burning will be lower. Change preposition
by
Moreover
, imposing higher taxes on private vehicles may reduce pollution
effects, due to
more people
may use
public transportation.
Wrong verb form
using
To conclude
, restricting air
travel should not be the best option to mitigate the pollution
. The regime ought to think beyond the box and enact some stricter laws for industries, which are major sources of pollution
.Submitted by Harvey on
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task response
The essay does not fully address the given prompt, lacking balanced arguments and specific examples. The introduction and conclusion are weak and should be more clearly presented.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is somewhat unclear with underdeveloped introduction and conclusion. The supporting points are presented but lack coherence and proper linking.
lexical resource
The vocabulary used is adequate, but there are some awkward and unclear expressions. The candidate needs to use a wider range of vocabulary and more sophisticated language to express ideas more clearly.
grammatical range
The essay shows a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are errors in subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and word choice that affect the clarity of the essay. The candidate needs to work on sentence structure and grammar accuracy.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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