IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. This has adverse effects on families, individuals and the society. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

#countries #food #effects #families #individuals #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the present time, the trend of consuming cuisine is rising,
as a result
Linking Words
, people like to consume foodstuff rather than
c
Add an article
a
the
show examples
onventional meal.
This
Linking Words
 trend causes an adverse effect on families, individuals and community. I acknowledge the fact that it has many grave consequences on human society and their family bonding. To embark upon, home-cooked foods have manifold advantages. It has all necessary nutritions, vitamins and minerals.
However
Linking Words
, individuals more gravitate to international foods. It has an adverse impact on individuals as foods contain calory , sugar, preservatives which are unhealthy for us. That being reason, thousands of people have become prey of diseases
such
Linking Words
 as obesity, heart problems, so on.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it reduces their productivity. Unhealthy people are not useful for society. Government has to spend thousands of dollars for their medical treatments. Apart from
this
Linking Words
, nowadays, more often than not youth like to go to restaurants or international food stalls like KFC, Dominoes, Mcdonald, to name but a few. These junk foods are pocket friendly and everyone likes their taste.
Instead
Linking Words
 of spending time with their family members, youth prefer to go to restaurants and enjoy their day. In a bygone era, people used to share their ideas on the dining table while having their meal, in
such
Linking Words
 ways, they made their bond much stronger. Nowadays, they usually go to restaurants and do not spend time with their family members.
As a result
Linking Words
, they feel more isolated. It is evident that owing to
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon, an increasing number of people face depression problems and lose their bond with family.
Hence
Linking Words
, to conclude,I opine that
although
Linking Words
 people like to eat more international foods, they should know its repercussions and should not consume excessively.
Submitted by Neel Patel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: