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Writing Samples
Band 5

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#prison #countries #crime #people #education
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In response to problems of
crime
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, there ignited a debate as to whether employing
prison
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 sentences or providing citizens with a better
education
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 brings about more benefits. Considering the effects of
imprisonment
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 on personal and societal fronts, I advocate the
first
Linking Words
 solution. On a personal scale,
prison
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 sentences buy prisoners
time
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 and social isolation needed for
dignity
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rehabilitation
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 and social
reintegration
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. Considering the bright side of serving
time
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, prisoners can have more
time
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 to reconsider their illegal acts after being familiar with rebellious and desperate feelings in the early
time
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 of
prison
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sentence
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. In
such
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 a closed and isolated environment, they not only learn through pondering but
also
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 learn through manual tasks. Doing
such
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 manual tasks brings about calm and rest, gradually curing their distorted souls and erasing the seeds of anti-social
behaviors
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behaviours
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 out of their thinking. On the active impacts of social isolation on prisoners,
prison
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 sentences accelerate
dignity
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rehabilitation
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 and social
reintegration
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. During serving their
sentence
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, prisoners can avoid temptations from evil friends, thereby reducing the possibility of recidivism.
Also
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, they have opportunities to participate in vocational courses integrated into the
prison
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 schedule.
Hence
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, they will have working skills that function as a key to social
reintegration
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 after they serve their
sentence
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. On a societal scale,
prison
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 sentences promote efficiency in deterrence and solving
crime
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.
Prison
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 has a stronger deterrence effect than that of
education
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. While
education
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 chooses soft and gradual approaches in order to help criminals realize their
misbehaviors
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misbehaviours
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,
imprisonment
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 immediately pushes prisoners into an unfamiliar and tough situation, acting as a strong message that forces them to be aware of their
crime
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 and attempt to gain social re-recognition through their
dignity
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rehabilitation
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 process. More important,
prison
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 sentences send a deterrent message to those who plan for committing
offenses
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offences
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 in order to minimize their
crime
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 possibilities in the future.
Also
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,
imprisonment
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 is a resort to those who have no chance to be reformed
.
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?
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 To
such
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 criminals,
education
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 brings no effect; rather, a heavy
prison
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sentence
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 delivers efficiency. In conclusion,
prison
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 sentences not only help accelerate
dignity
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rehabilitation
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 and social
reintegration
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 of prisoners but
also
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 have effective impacts on deterrence and solving
crime
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 on a societal scale. These add weight to my conviction that
imprisonment
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 is far more effective than providing better
education
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 in dealing with
crime
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.
Submitted by Tạ Minh Hiếu on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackles root causes
  • preventative approach
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making skills
  • recidivism rates
  • equipping
  • socio-economic benefits
  • underlying factors
  • poverty
  • ignorance
  • lack of opportunities
  • rehabilitation
  • ineffective
  • higher rates of re-offending
What to do next:
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