IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Learning to play team sports is an important part of a child’s education. Do you agree or disagree?

#team #sports #part #child’s #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, it is known that sport’s
education
Use synonyms
 is really necessary for
c
Add an article
a
show examples
hild’s development. When children play
team
Use synonyms
 sports they improve their physical and mental health,
also
Linking Words
 communication and social skills. I am totally agreed that
this
Linking Words
 learning should be in their educational life. There is no doubt that when children play in
Use synonyms
t
Add an article
a
show examples
eam sport they are learning to help each other.
For example
Linking Words
, if we look at a game of football, we will see as each participant makes a lot of effort to get a goal and a win in general. When children play
team
Use synonyms
 sports they learn to
communicating
Change the verb form
communicate
show examples
 between them,
therefore
Linking Words
, when they grow up they will work in a
team
Use synonyms
 without difficulties. Needless to say,
team
Use synonyms
 sports have advantages for children in their future life,
for instance
Linking Words
,
c
Add an article
a
show examples
hild
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
 played
team
Use synonyms
 sports perhaps does not be
self-centered
Change the spelling
self-centred
show examples
.
Further
Linking Words
, if children in their lives use sports as part of
education
Use synonyms
, perhaps
this
Linking Words
 type of
education
Use synonyms
 will help them make a choice in their future profession.
In addition
Linking Words
, physical activity, like
education
Use synonyms
, helps children learn the school curriculum.
In other words
Linking Words
, children
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
 do not play
team
Use synonyms
 sports have low marks, since their brains may not be used to cope with
such
Linking Words
 loads, there is no logical thinking and fear of responsibility prevents them from making the right decision. In conclusion, I would like to highlight that
team
Use synonyms
 sports as part of
education
Use synonyms
 in child’s
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 are very significant as in childhood as in adulthood. When children take part
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
team
Use synonyms
 sports, they learn communication
between
Verify preposition usage
with
show examples
 each other.
Submitted by mila.kniaz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social skills
  • communication
  • cooperation
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • commitment
  • punctuality
  • physical development
  • endurance
  • healthy competition
  • coping with losses
  • sense of belonging
  • community
  • self-esteem
  • leadership
  • strategic decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: