IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The wage gap between male athletes and female athletes. What are some reasons for this? Suggest some ways to resolve this problem?

#wage #gap #athletes
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Gender equality has always been a dilemma that people want to solve. In sport, the discrimination is even worse, especially in athletes’ incomes.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 is a grieving problem, it can be solved with some solutions. The main cause of the uneven pay rates among athletes is their performance. In all kinds of sports, health and endurance are the utmost things that athletes are required to have. In
this
Linking Words
 respect, men seem to have advantages over women, so it is understandable that matches involving male athletes are often fast-paced, highly competitive, and far more attractive to the spectators. To illustrate what I mean, in a professional football male match, the number of viewers and spectators tend to be a lot.
This
Linking Words
 obviously generates a crazy amount of revenue for the club, in return, footballers are paid high wages with what he has contributed so far for the club.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the female team owner does not get lots of profit from the spectators,
as a result
Linking Words
, the rate of wage among female athletes is quite low.
However
Linking Words
, there are a number of solutions that can help people somewhat solve
this
Linking Words
 problem. One of the most effective ways is to invest equally in facilities for all athletes,
this
Linking Words
 means that everyone has an equal opportunity to develop, depending on the efforts of each person that their achievements will vary.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the State should have welfare policies to encourage female athletes through difficult times. To sum up, the issue of the wage gap between male and female athletes cannot be resolved quickly, but it takes time to gradually change. The solutions above should be applied as soon as possible in order to bring equality between two genders in sport.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: