The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #individuals #internet #companies #organisations #outweigh

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Nowadays a large number of people trust their personal

information

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to companies

such

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as Facebook or Apple. While some people think the positive aspects of

this

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outweigh the drawbacks, I believe the disadvantages are more relevant and

this

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essay will discuss the arguments.

Although

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these companies have a strong security system, they are always attacked by hackers. These hackers try to get some private

information

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and usually they succeed.

For example

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, in 2014 hackers attacked Apple database and exposed the personal

information

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of hundreds of actors and famous around the world. Even personal photos and videos were leaked. Unfortunately, these attacks happen frequently and not only famous are the targets, but

also

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ordinary people.

Additionally

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, these companies usually apologize but they do not take any actions to repair the damage.

In other words

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, once the data is stolen they say they cannot do anything. In my opinion, the best way to avoid

such

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a problem is to keep your personal

information

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For example

Linking Words

instead

Linking Words

of using cloud services to store your data, you can use pen drives and keep with you.

This

Linking Words

can help you to maintain your

information

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and do not be surprised by the news saying that your cloud service was threatened by hackers and you had your info spread To sum up, even though utilizing internet companies to keep personal

information

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is easy and practical, I believe it is not the best option. These companies are often attacked by hackers and you are likely to have your personal

information

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exposed.

Submitted by samirzakur on Mon Dec 07 2020

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids.

Studying art in school improves students' performance in other subjects, because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skill. Do you agree or disagree?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweight its drawbacks?