IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#government #investment #transport #systems #reductions #ticket #prices #pollution
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A good public
transport
 system can play a vital role in reducing
transport
pollution
. The
government
 can promote the
use
 of public
transport
 by improving the systems and reducing the fares, and I firmly believe that it can mitigate the challenges of air and noise
pollution
. First of all,
government
 investment can help improve the quality of public
transport
. If good services are available, more
people
 will tend to
use
 the
transport
 system which will ultimately lead to fewer cars on the roads.
For example
, a good subway network can cause less traffic in the downtown area.
Therefore
, an improved and updated system of
transport
 can help in the reduction of
transport
pollution
.
Moreover
, the reduction in ticket prices can highly promote the
use
 of public
transport
.
People
 prefer cheap commutes over using their own car which consumes expensive gas.
For instance
, individuals who travel to work every day would stop using their cars when they have a cheaper option available. So, as more
people
 will
use
 public
transport
due to
 cheap tickets, it will cause less traffic on the road. With that being said, the
government
 should not exhaust its resources in promoting public
transport
 systems. Money should be invested to uplift the quality of the
transport
 but reduced fares can be offered to specific groups of
people
such
 as old citizens, and students. These steps can certainly mitigate the challenges of
transport
pollution
. In conclusion,
government
 investment and reduced ticket prices are crucial to fight against traffic
pollution
. These initiatives can significantly decrease the number of cars driven every day, eventually causing less
pollution
.
However
, a balanced approach should be adopted so that
government
 resources are not strained.
Submitted by mhamza.yahya on

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Task Response
Enhance the depth of argument by considering potential counterarguments and addressing them to show a more balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure seamless transition of ideas between paragraphs to make the argument flow even smoother.
Language Use
Add more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to reflect a higher level of proficiency.
Task Response
You have presented a clear position and supported it with specific examples, which contributes to the essay's clarity and effectiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, enhancing readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main points are well supported with relevant examples that are directly related to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • carbon footprint
  • mass transit
  • subsidization
  • fare reduction
  • environmental impact
  • urban planning
  • public policy
  • commuter behavior
  • infrastructural development
  • economic efficiency
  • equitable access
  • lifestyle shift
  • congestion
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