Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to become successful career. While others believe that it is better to get a job staight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The majority of people often say that the best way to gain a successful life is by studying at
college
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or university,
while
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others think that the way forward is to have a job after school.Both viewpoints are valid but I prefer the former choice and I will highlight the reason in the following essay. It must be understood that learning at university is the best route to a successful career.
This
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means companies have a tendency to receive people who have qualifications and have a better grasp of that major.
For example
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, citizens who have university degrees when applying to business, are able to pass the interview compared to those who do not have any qualifications.
Therefore
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,they can get
high
Correct word choice
higher
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salaries rather than each other.
However
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,there are numerous populations of those who
get
Verb problem
are
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successful in occupation.It means they drop out of
college
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to get the experience for the job to earn money at an early age.Take Bill Gates
for example
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,he isn’t studying
college
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but now he is a billionaire person.
This
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may be true but just one per cent of the total,others with no degree will be a failure if they do not continue to focus their study to improve their knowledge and soft skills.
Thus
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,we should focus on studying
as well as
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digging deep into our major to gain more chances in life. From my point of view,I believe the degree of
college
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is so vital for our future.
Hence
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,we can easily advance our careers and gain more profit. In conclusion,there are many ways to succeed but studying at
college
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is always taking the lead.
Hence
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,reaching our dream and getting a successful career.

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you provide clear and relevant examples for each of your points. Try to add more specific examples and elaborate on them to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Regarding coherence and cohesion, work on the smoothness of transitions between paragraphs. This helps your essay flow better and makes it easier for the reader to follow your arguments. Additionally, avoid repeating similar points, and ensure each paragraph introduces a new aspect of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and outlines the main points that will be discussed. This helps the reader understand from the beginning what to expect.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reinforcing the main argument that studying at college or university is better for a successful career.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion by considering both viewpoints, which shows an ability to see multiple sides of an issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialized knowledge
  • professional fields
  • networking opportunities
  • career path
  • practical experience
  • financial pressures
  • economic independence
  • early work experience
  • apprenticeships
  • vocational training
  • hands-on skills
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