IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skill. Do you agree or disagree?

Education is a most essential factor in a
children
Change noun form
child's
show examples
 life. It is commonly argued that, in schools and colleges, teaching
based
Add a missing verb
is based
show examples
 on facts
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 applying them practically.
This
Linking Words
 type of
educating
Verb problem
teaching
show examples
 method commences from primary till
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
graduation. In my opinion, I agree with the above statement as it generates
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of confidence among students and there are additional
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 required to perform the actual field job.
Firstly
Linking Words
, from my experience, the learning system in countries like India
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 focuses more on theoretical actualities than providing an opportunity to apply them
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 real
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 to enhance the skills of the students.
This
Linking Words
 methodology generates
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of confidence among young
learns
Replace the word
learners
show examples
 to face the actual situation, once they enter
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Hence
Linking Words
, field training should be provided, as
this
Linking Words
 would help them to enlighten their knowledge and talents.
For instance
Linking Words
, one who was taught the whole time based on theories and truths
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will be unable to apply them in real-time
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 as she or he did not have any exposure to it and
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
inexperienced.
Thus
Linking Words
, in order to tackle
such
Linking Words
 uncertain
occurrence
Fix the agreement mistake
occurrences
show examples
, it is mandatory to have
onsite-education
Correct your spelling
onsite education
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, what was imparted to us throughout our life as
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in
institute
Correct article usage
an institute
show examples
 will not be enough to accomplish the job in a company.
In other words
Linking Words
, the actual requirement of an organisation
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a particular job opening will
contrary
Add a missing verb
be contrary
show examples
or
Change preposition
to or
show examples
 will not be the same as what we learnt from the universities.
For example
Linking Words
,
an
Correct word choice
if an
show examples
account
Change the verb form
accounting
show examples
 undergraduate
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 offered
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a position as an Accountant
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a reputed company, the candidate
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 not be allowed to start immediately, as they
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
 training to carry out their responsibilities in that organisation.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I deem that, it is necessary to have field study starting from all
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of learning, as
this
Linking Words
 will aid
to increase
Change preposition
in increasing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self-confidence and prepare the young mind
face
Add the particle
to face
show examples
 the world after their studies.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure clear and comprehensive ideas that directly address the task question.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks coherence in some areas, and there is a need for better organization of ideas.
lexical resource
Improve the range of vocabulary and use of more appropriate academic words.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structures to achieve a better grammatical range and accuracy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • education system
  • curriculum
  • factual knowledge
  • practical skills
  • critical thinking
  • problem solving
  • academic achievement
  • real-world application
  • balance
  • integration
  • learning outcomes
  • employment opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: