IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

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One common approach employed by city planners involves the separation of various establishments
such
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 as shops, schools, offices, and homes into distinct
areas
Use synonyms
.
While
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this
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 zoning policy offers certain advantages, the notable drawbacks outweigh the positives. One significant advantage of zoning is the promotion of efficient land use. By grouping similar establishments together,
cities
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 can optimize the allocation of resources and infrastructure.
For instance
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, commercial
areas
Use synonyms
 can be designed with adequate parking spaces and easy access to transportation, making it convenient for both shoppers and business owners. Zoning
similarly
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 allows for the creation of specialized zones,
such
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 as industrial
areas
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, which can enhance productivity and economic growth.
This
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 is the case in many newer
cities
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such
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 as Shenzhen in China where urban planners had the opportunity to fashion a more efficient and livable environment for residents
due to
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 the lack of previous development in the area.
However
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, a notable concern is the potential lack of vibrancy and diversity in strictly zoned
cities
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. When different establishments are mixed within
neighborhoods
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
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, it fosters a sense of community and generates vibrant social spaces. Mixing residential and commercial
areas
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 can lead to the development of lively streets with a variety of shops, cafes, galleries, and parks, creating a more engaging and inclusive urban experience.
This
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 is evidenced
in contrast
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 to newer
cities
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 like Shenzhen with older
cities
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 throughout the world that are famed for their cultural vibrancy. The list of
such
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cities
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 is innumerable but includes some of the most well-known and desirable urban
areas
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 on the globe
such
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 as London, New York, Paris, Kyoto, and Barcelona. In conclusion, zoning policies that group
areas
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 by their purpose can lead to efficient land use though the likelihood of a lack of vibrancy within neighborhoods is a more significant factor. To strike a balance, city planners must carefully consider the specific context and needs of their communities, adopting a flexible approach that combines the benefits of zoning with the promotion of mixed-use
areas
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure to directly answer the question in your introduction and conclusion, making your position clear to the reader from the start.
task achievement
Develop your main points with specific, detailed examples. While you have provided some examples, more detailed evidence could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, using more varied linking words and phrases could enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making your argument easy to follow.
task achievement
You've clearly outlined the advantages and disadvantages, maintaining a balanced discussion throughout your essay.
task achievement
Your examples, such as Shenzhen and cities like London and New York, help illustrate your points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Segregation
  • Urban areas
  • Residential
  • Commercial
  • Industrial
  • Systematic development
  • Amenity provision
  • Urban management
  • Pollution
  • Quality of life
  • Transportation costs
  • Environmental impact
  • Social segregation
  • Amenities
  • Services
  • Income neighborhoods
  • Vibrant
  • Accessible
  • Travel times
  • Social interaction
  • Mixed-use developments
  • Sustainable urban planning
  • Walking
  • Cycling
  • Public transport
  • Urban sprawl
  • Green spaces
  • Agricultural land
  • Biodiversity
  • Business hubs
  • Investments
  • Employment opportunities
  • Economic growth
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