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Band 6.5

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#education #component #school #program
These days, millions of people struggle with their finances. Some of them tend to rely on credit cards and loans for necessities.
This
,
however
, can lead to deeper financial constraints. Having said that, financial education in schools can be a significant aid particularly if done as early as adolescent age. To begin with, many graduates may leave the universities financially illiterate.
As a result
, these people will be entering the actual world without enough knowledge regarding finances and economics. On the contrary, financial literacy can assist them in their upcoming decisions like proper purchasing, reading and interpreting contracts and in profitable investments. 
Moreover
, if a person started saving as early as
undergraduate
Correct pronoun usage
their undergraduate
his undergraduate
her undergraduate
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 years, he would have a more
secured
Replace the word
secure
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 and comfortable retirement year someday.
Conversely
, up to now, financial education
is
Verb problem
has
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 yet unmandated in some countries. It would be surprising to integrate it 
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 schools' curriculum since there can solely be a few qualified teachers. 
Consequently
, these professionals might be reluctant to instruct it. 
Additionally
, in order for it to be applied in schools and universities, an up-to-date curriculum should be constructed; so as to introduce it to students, without hesitation and confusion. All things considered, financial literacy is a must, regardless if it will be used in starting up a business or just for managing one's budget on a routine basis. In my opinion,
such
 a category of education can be an essential life skill in the near future. 
Therefore
, I believe that it should be established as part of the initial foundation of the youth.
Submitted by maylenesvillaveza on

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task response
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coherence and cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay, using appropriate transitional devices to connect ideas. Additionally, ensure a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion to bookend the essay effectively.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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