IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#children #computers #age #hours
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is the colossal upsurge of using computers. There is a widespread worry that
this
Linking Words
 will lead to a myriad of concerns in the world.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the merits and demerits of excessive use of computers by a child at an early age and spend a long time on them. To commence with, there are a number of arguments in favour of using modern devices but the most preponderant one not only familiarise an adult with technical devices but
also
Linking Words
 help them to learn new things and get advantages of these technologies in their daily life.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, everything is available via the internet but one should know how to take benefits from these devices.
For example
Linking Words
, According to the research conducted by Western Sydney University, more than 90 per cent of juveniles are spending their most of the time using mobile phones, tablets or computer from their childhood.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the disadvantages of above-mentioned ideas are not limited health problems but
also
Linking Words
 not involving a kid in sports activities and make them obese.
Moreover
Linking Words
, using these electronic devices for longer will make teenager get addicted.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by the government of Australia health department reveals that the negative impacts of using electronic devices from the young age will affect the child's eyes and brain as well. These health-related issues are considerable and should never be underestimated and ignored. To conclude, despite having some drawbacks, the benefits of using modern devices for longer periods of time are true to dire to ignore.
Submitted by gurdeepaus on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: