What are your Achievements in 2023 and Revolutions in 2024
Many things happened in 2023, and there were revolutions in 2024.
Last
year
was a year
of surprise and happiness because we bought a new house
and gained Canadian
citizenship
. Firstly
, my family was so lucky when we bought a house
. We were fortunate because we found a pretty cheap house
, but the house
is still beautiful, big, and near everything. Our house
was near school, the mall, and even downtown, making our transportation faster and taking less time
. Secondly
, we finally
gained Canadian
citizenship
. My mom studied and worked hard every day for this
. She spent time
daily improving her English
skills for IELTS and working hard to gain some plus points for a better chance of achieving Canadian
citizenship
. After all the work, she now has Canadian
citizenship
, and because of that, I became a Canadian
citizen, too. To sum up
, I bought a new house
and became a Canadian
citizen, making 2023 the best year
in my life until now.
This
year
, there are two resolutions: an approach to better English
and a visit back to my motherland. To begin
with, I want to learn more English
to improve my skill level. I’ll write every day to make my paragraph better and better. Also
, I will try to learn new English
words so I can speak freely and masterly. Next,
my family and I will visit Vietnam
after a long time
. After two years in Canada, I am looking forward to going to Vietnam
to see what changes and to see my family and friends; I want to see where I grew up after a very long time
. To wrap up, improving my English
skill level and going back to Vietnam
will make 2024 to look forward to. To conclude
, approaching a higher level of English
and returning to Vietnam
will make 2024 a year
I will never forget. Also
, 2023 is the year
that made me proud because I became Canadian
and because we had our own house
.Submitted by huyenle1205 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you directly address all parts of the task, structuring your essay clearly with an introduction that sets the context, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a separate idea, and finishing with a conclusion that summarises your main points.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and structuring phrases to create cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader easily follow the progression of your ideas.
task achievement
Make sure to answer the essay question directly and remain focused on the prompt throughout your essay. Use the task as a clear guide for each paragraph and ensure your conclusion ties neatly back to the question posed, reflecting on the points you've discussed.
task achievement
To achieve clarity in your ideas, plan your paragraphs around specific points. Use a topic sentence to introduce the idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea, and a concluding sentence to summarize or transition to the next point.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples is good; these help to support your main points. To further improve, ensure that the relevance of each example is completely clear, explaining how it directly relates to the prompt and reinforces your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.