In some countries, prison is seen as the solution to crime. However, some people believe that giving people a better education is a better way to prevent them from committing crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these ideas? Give your opinions based on your knowledge and experience.

In recent years, the methods of
d
Add an article
the
a
show examples
eclining crime rate have become controversial around the world. Some people argue that the existence of prison in our society would prevent the growing culprit proportion, while I strongly agree with another manner that providing
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
quality education for citizens would solve the suggested issue. Following are the reasons why I am in favour of
this
solution.
To begin
with, more importantly, the giving programs about the demerits of committing
c
Add an article
a
show examples
rime could revise the public’s fundamental behaviours. To specify,
these progress
Change the determiner
this progress
show examples
involved the concrete description about how people have to pay
f
Add an article
a
the
show examples
ee or why people can not stand their job after conducting crimes. For most Korean school example, the entire
of
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
schools have executed these projects with local polices for preventing juvenile crime annually. As the result, the kiddy lawbreaker percentage had decreased over 30% than in the past.
Hence
, for losing potential criminals, these classes would be necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
show examples
our community. On top of that, establishing the high quality of
e
Add an article
the
an
show examples
ducational system,
such
as academical, productive, and technological subjects
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
would be more beneficial in the economic situation.
In other words
, as
c
Add an article
a
show examples
onsequent, when the citizens, who had received those studies, started economy activities and
then
the free-market demand will active the increase in rapidly. While prison had cost-ineffective for maintaining the architectures and managing criminals.
Hence
,
this
statement supports the idea
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
what I have been mentioned above as well. Extending
r
Add an article
the
show examples
oad is good to use. To sum up, the appropriate educations are the positive policy with not only reducing offender ratio but
also
promoting the country’s economic situation.
Consequently
, I claim that the local governments and relevant educational institutions should order initiatives on account of effective learning programs.
Submitted by kooji6856 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: