IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Introduction
In the modern era, an increase in the number of health problems is a major concern across the countries. With each passing day, people spend a lot of time with doctors that really make their lives complicated, Their is enough chance for improvement.
Huge
Change the article
A huge
The huge
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 number of foods do react differently because of ample
availibility
Correct your spelling
availability
. The essay will discuss the topic in a broader manner.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
,
food
Use synonyms
 holds an important human
day-today
Correct your spelling
day-to-day
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 value. Health and fast
food
Use synonyms
 balance pattern
is
Change the verb form
are
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 used widely in most countries now. They are a sign of improvement. We must ensure every generation has access to them.
For instance
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, consume fast
food
Use synonyms
 in
e
Add an article
an
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mergency. But undoubtedly, one
Verify preposition usage
of
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the benefits of
this
Linking Words
 is that they are easily available.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
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, there is
r
Add an article
a
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ise and fall in health issues. Awareness is another area where governments and private groups or individuals can share responsibility. Developing countries are
mre
Correct your spelling
more
 likely to suffer
such
Linking Words
i
Add an article
an
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ssue at a small level. Since developed nations have always been ahead in the terms of solution. In fact mostly to get credit for it.
For example
Linking Words
, in the USA people do spend more time in parties and restaurants.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
evevn
Correct your spelling
even
 though time changes and people may vary in their opinions. I think only positive changes can bring more benefits.
However
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, governments and citizens to play
Add an article
an
the
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avital
Correct your spelling
a vital
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 role to track
this
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 subject. There are
l
Change the article
a
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ot of things to get done quickly, but one should remember there are hidden issues. Impose governments to a higher tax on
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
 is not
r
Add an article
the
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ight way
h
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to
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andle it.
Therefore
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, I
patially
Correct your spelling
partially
 agree
that is
Linking Words
 an individual responsibility.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
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