IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

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There is no doubt every home has a laptop or a personal computer. It is a vital component with recent advancements in science and technology. Nowadays, kids start using a computer from pre-school, in long run,
this
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 would have a negative impact on children. I agree that frequent usage of PC is detrimental to a younger generation.
To begin
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 with, there are certain benefits of using a PC. Youth will be aware of modern innovations and develop more technological skills at an earlier stage, which favours them to be independent.
For instance
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, my niece learned to search a rhyme she wanted to listen to on her own at the age of 4 using voice search.
However
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, a couple of children makes the best out of their freedom but most of them play games or watch cartoon or animations.
On the other hand
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, there are several downfalls with the regular use of computers.
First
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 and foremost it limits the social interaction with the outside world. Many kids have limited conversations with family and friends. To illustrate, when I was young our age group kids used to play every evening, but in recent days I barely see kids playing in troops.
In addition
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 to that, the latest medical research shows watching the screen for a long time amplifies stress level and cause severe sabotage to eyes. A recent study conducted by students of MIT university revealed frequent use of the system as the primary cause for spectacles in children. In conclusion, despite a few advantages like more technical expertise and independent thinking, in general, there are a lot of demerits like little social exposure and health issues. In my view, continuous use of the computer at a younger age have a negative influence in long term.
Submitted by amulyauu on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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