Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation companies should encourage high-level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that companies should give the young
generation
a chance and replace those who are above fifty
years
old.
This
essay disagrees with
this
opinion, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
employees
may need guidance from senior
employees
, and it is an early age to retire for some
people
.
To begin
with, junior
employees
and fresh graduates may face some difficulties when they start working for a company.
This
is because they do not have enough experience and skills that are required from them.
Therefore
, senior company members might be able to help by teaching the younger
generation
how to organize their work, as they have been working for so many
years
, and they have enough expertise.
For example
, companies can allow
employees
who spent a considerable number of
years
in a particular company to provide seminars and courses to juniors.
As a result
, the experience can be disseminated to the young
people
who are starting their careers. Another reason why
people
over fifty-five
years
should
Correct word choice
old should
show examples
not be put out of work is that they still face financial demands. Many of them
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
still need to work as they have responsibilities
such
as paying for the academic tuition of their children and paying off mortgages. It would not be fair to force a large number of
people
into early retirement.
For example
, in Egypt, over 50% of workers are over 55
years
. If these
people
are forced to retire early, they will not be able to provide for their families.
Consequently
, unemployment rates will rise rapidly, and many families will be affected. In conclusion, In my opinion, companies still need the knowledge and experience of the older
generation
to help the younger
generation
, and forced retirement may negatively impact their lives
as well as
their families in terms of their financial standing.
Submitted by reemmagdysherif on

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task response
Task Response: The essay maintains a clear stance on the given topic and provides relevant arguments to support the opinion. However, some points could be further developed to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is evident, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The ideas are presented in a coherent manner, but stronger transitions and linking words could enhance the overall cohesion.

Your opinion

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