Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation companies should encourage high-level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that companies should give the young
generation
a chance and replace those who are above fifty years
old. This
essay disagrees with this
opinion, as the
young Correct article usage
apply
employees
may need guidance from senior employees
, and it is an early age to retire for some people
.
To begin
with, junior employees
and fresh graduates may face some difficulties when they start working for a company. This
is because they do not have enough experience and skills that are required from them. Therefore
, senior company members might be able to help by teaching the younger generation
how to organize their work, as they have been working for so many years
, and they have enough expertise. For example
, companies can allow employees
who spent a considerable number of years
in a particular company to provide seminars and courses to juniors. As a result
, the experience can be disseminated to the young people
who are starting their careers.
Another reason why people
over fifty-five years
should
not be put out of work is that they still face financial demands. Many of them Correct word choice
old should
are
still need to work as they have responsibilities Unnecessary verb
apply
such
as paying for the academic tuition of their children and paying off mortgages. It would not be fair to force a large number of people
into early retirement. For example
, in Egypt, over 50% of workers are over 55 years
. If these people
are forced to retire early, they will not be able to provide for their families. Consequently
, unemployment rates will rise rapidly, and many families will be affected.
In conclusion, In my opinion, companies still need the knowledge and experience of the older generation
to help the younger generation
, and forced retirement may negatively impact their lives as well as
their families in terms of their financial standing.Submitted by reemmagdysherif on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Task Response: The essay maintains a clear stance on the given topic and provides relevant arguments to support the opinion. However, some points could be further developed to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is evident, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The ideas are presented in a coherent manner, but stronger transitions and linking words could enhance the overall cohesion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!