IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

#parents #children #toys #child
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era, an increase in the number of stress children is a major concern across the countries. With each passing day, people spend a lot of time while dealing with children, that really made their lives complicated, there is enough chance for improvement. Huge numbers of kids do react differently because of ample freedom. The essay will discuss the topic in a broader manner.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 age group holds an important human value. Toys and its value balance pattern used widely in most countries now. They are a sign of improvement. We must ensure every generation has access to them.
For instance
Linking Words
, the incentive for achievement. But undoubtedly, one of the benefits of
this
Linking Words
 is that they are less stressful.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there is a rise and fall in children demands. Availability of toys is another area where individuals or private groups can share responsibility. Developing countries are more likely to suffer toys issue at a great level because of purchasing power. Since developed nations have always been far ahead in the terms of solution. In fact, they mostly get credit for it.
For example
Linking Words
, the USA people do spend a lot of time in kids awareness. In conclusion, even though time changes and people may vary in their opinions. I think only positive efforts can bring more benefits.
However
Linking Words
, parents and doctors to play a vital role to track
this
Linking Words
 subject. There are many ways to get the things done, but one should remember there are hidden issues.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I firmly believe it is an individual responsibility.
Submitted by hKc47$p# on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: