IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries it is illegal to refuse people applying for jobs because of their age. Is it positive or negative in your opinion?

#countries #people #jobs #age
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In recent times, skill has been emphasised more than
age
Use synonyms
. In several jurisdictions, it is against the law to exclude resumes based on the
age
Use synonyms
 of the candidate. Still, it is a healthy development, and my choice will be outlined in
further
Linking Words
 detail below. To embark with, skills and capabilities are the most essential qualities to perform better tasks. Since technology has increased, students are more eager to learn new technical skills and
also
Linking Words
 learn different courses with the help of the internet;
as a result
Linking Words
, they are
also
Linking Words
 capable of doing better jobs at a younger
age
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, A survey revealed that the majority of college students begin learning independently
while
Linking Words
 enrolled, which helps them to make strong resumes.
Therefore
Linking Words
, industries should provide entry-level candidates
an
Add the preposition
with an
show examples
 opportunity to prove themselves.
In addition
Linking Words
, employers look for
experience
Use synonyms
. Since students began freelancing with the aid of technology and influencers, they have undertaken a greater number of tasks and projects than their predecessors in order to earn expertise.
For instance
Linking Words
, An article highlighted that
experience
Use synonyms
 is the most important qualification for a better career
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and that young people
also
Linking Words
 have more technical
experience
Use synonyms
 as they have been working on projects in institutions, which distinguishes them from others.
Hence
Linking Words
, by providing opportunities to newcomers, businesses are not just valuing new ideas but
also
Linking Words
 a wealth of expertise.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 at some places people hesitate before hiring an early
age
Use synonyms
 employee, they should encourage them as they have technical
experience
Use synonyms
 and as youngsters they have new ideas and perspectives that contribute to the growth of the company.
Submitted by pooriya29 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure throughout, with clear topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to create cohesion and guide the reader from one point to the next.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points fully with both examples and explanations to ensure your ideas are persuasive and comprehensive.
Task Achievement
To better address the task prompt, consider discussing potential negative aspects as well, as this will create a more balanced argument and demonstrate your ability to evaluate both sides of an issue.
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