Many criminals commit further crimes as source as they released from prison What do you think are the cause of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?
It is an irrefutable fact that more and more
criminals
have charged
with Add a missing verb
been charged
same
crimes again after allow to leave Correct article usage
the same
from
jail. There are several reasons for their unchanged behaviour. In Change preposition
apply
this
essay, I would like to shed light on some of the major causes of this
and try to give some solutions in the upcoming paragraphs.
The first and major cause of this
problem is the bad thinking of society towards criminals
because after the completion of punishment when the person comes back in
Change preposition
to
the
society and Correct article usage
apply
try
to start his new life, Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
but
he/she Correct word choice
apply
do
not get enough respect and attention from Correct subject-verb agreement
does
other
. Correct pronoun usage
others
As a result
, It leads to other crimes which will commit
by the person in Wrong verb form
be committed
future
. For example
, The survey of the local newspaper showed that due to
the lack of proper moral support and encouragement of the community
many young Add a comma
community,
criminals
do the same crime for their daily needs.Moreover
, Most of the times
lawbreakers are unable to find Fix the agreement mistake
time
the
valuable jobs Correct article usage
apply
for
Change preposition
to
fulfilling
their basic Wrong verb form
fulfil
need
because of their bad image and record. So, which Fix the agreement mistake
needs
encourage
them to choose the wrong path to get money likeCorrect subject-verb agreement
encourages
,
robbery.
Every problem comes with some solutions. So, To overcome Remove the comma
apply
this
issue people have to change their thinking and they have to accept criminals
after their sentence. People have to cheer them for their future
life and help them to find employment. In addition
to this
, It is the responsibility of the government to make a plan for the future
of the lawbreaker and tech
them some hand skill work during their prison time. So, They can divert their mind from criminal activities and use that time to build their Correct your spelling
teach
future
plan.
To conclude
, I would like to state that this
problem cannot solve
overnight. Wrong verb form
be solved
However
, The combined actions of society and government are required to overcome this
issue.Submitted by Guri on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas. Ensure that each paragraph connects smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on the main points. Some ideas are introduced without full exploration or clear explanation.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples and statistics to support your ideas. This will strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the overall flow and structure.
task achievement
The writer addresses the main question of why criminals might re-offend and suggests potential solutions, showing an understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The use of transitional phrases and topic sentences indicates a conscious effort to organize the essay logically, even if execution could be improved.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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