IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others however say that corporation and teamwork in schools are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #corporation #teamwork #schools
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Although
Linking Words
 it is sometimes thought that schools ought to teach children to compete, other people believe that the focus should be on cooperation. In my opinion, I consider, that competition helps children learn the most important skills for the future. On the one hand, some persons think that youngsters who learn to compete against each other often do better in school and I agree.
In other words
Linking Words
, the competition between students motivates them to excel in their studies or tasks which,
consequently
Linking Words
, produces better academic performance and results.
For example
Linking Words
, students generally apply themselves and work harder when they are in direct competition with their classmates.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, been driven to achieve is vital in order to succeed later in life when as adults, they must compete against others in the job market.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, it is often believed that it is better if the emphasis at school is on cooperation with others. As individuals, we do not live, work or socialize apart from others, so learning how to work alongside other people ought to be taught from childhood. Without these skills, children would lose the ability to communicate with each other or know how to deal with confrontations and conflicts in a constructive way. Another reason why team skills are useful for juveniles is that they can learn how to negotiate to complete a task.
This
Linking Words
 is an essential skill to learn for a better tomorrow. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinion, I think that young ones stand a better chance to succeed both in school and
also
Linking Words
 later in a lifetime if they are encouraged to compete against each other.
Submitted by estherchinaza4410 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: