Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Have you ever thought about how much
money
is spent on the arts
? Some individuals opine that the states must invest funds in more essential fields rather than the arts
. Although
spending extensive budgets on arts
may seem extra, there are many benefits regarding this
action, such
as cultural advantages. Considering the positive effects, I strongly agree with this
investment.
The authorities are alleged to have spent an unnecessary amount of money
on music, theaters
and other Change the spelling
theatres
arts
. Many people believe that the arts
do not have enough advocates so it is not vital for governments to devote budgets to them. Instead
of arts
, money
should be invested in other entertainment. For instance
, sports like football or volleyball are more popular among people, therefore
more funds ought to be allocated to these fields. What this
investment often leads to is enhanced sports quality.
Nevertheless
, arts
might have an enormous impact on society’s culture and income. Firstly
, arts
like movies or theaters
can teach myriad lessons to individuals and criticize social issues. Just consider Shakespeare's plays, where they criticize delicate social problems. These sorts of Change the spelling
theatres
arts
can totally enhance public awareness, leading to cultural growth. Secondly
, financially supporting artists, like painters, may help them to create masterpieces, making them famous all over the world. Owing to their fame, many tourists from other nations may come to visit their galleries and it can have a positive effect on the country's tourism industry and so its income.
In conclusion, although
it may be considered that money
being spent on the arts
is important, the arts
can play a huge role in cultural growth and countries’ income, Therefore
, governments are supposed to financially support these subjects. I personally support this
investment and find it quite helpful for social and economic growth.Submitted by Arman on
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Task Response
Ensure that the introduction sets a clear context for the essay and strive to include a more distinct thesis statement that outlines the key points that will be discussed.
Task Response
Work on providing a broader range of examples and evidence to more effectively support claims. While the sports analogy is relevant, incorporating additional specific examples can bolster the argument and task response score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop a more systematic progression of ideas within paragraphs, each supported by relevant examples. The use of cohesive devices such as linking words should be natural and enhance the flow of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic. Aim for seamless transitions between paragraphs, guided by overarching argumentative coherence rather than abrupt shifts in focus.
Task Response
Particularly focus on supporting each main point with adequate evidence and illustration. The exploration of arts' impacts on culture and tourism income can be deepened.