Social Media has helped us increase our virtual networks. This has isolated us physically, making us socially awkward in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

#media #networks #person

Due to the advancement of technology, there is a growing dependence on social

media

Although

this

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

has expanded our social network,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

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it has

also

promoted a tendency of self-isolation and social awkwardness during physical interactions. I completely agree with

this

statement and

this

essay will give relevant reasons to support my opinion.

To begin

with, even though the continuous use of social

media

platforms help in virtually connecting us with the world, it has

also

resulted in changing our

behavioral

Change the spelling

behavioural

show examples

habit by making it difficult to interact in person.

Furthermore

, virtual platforms are extremely addictive which have reduced our concentration levels of participating around

people

and encouraged solitude.

For instance

, Facebook and Instagram users are often observed posting pictures and videos during a live gathering rather than enjoying the moment with

people

present during that occasion;

such

situations usually occur during moments of total silence.

Secondly

, social

media

is often misleading and fails to portray reality and may not always depict who we really are.

As a result

this

might lead to embarrassing moments during a meeting because of which virtual platform users tend to away from a face to face interaction.

For example

, profiles created on dating and matrimonial websites cannot completely depict who these

people

really are and

therefore

, only a non-virtual meet can reveal their true personality and character. In conclusion,

although

social

media

platforms help us connect with many

people

virtually, it not only fails to represent our true identity and individuality

Remove the comma

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but it

also

adversely impacts our ability to socialize in person.

Submitted by dipalisklc on Mon Jan 11 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Social Media has helped us increase our virtual networks. This has isolated us physically, making us socially awkward in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

othere think secondary school students should study inter Dions both these views and gie your while others belleve that tary school studi valuable school time. Discuss both these side

With the rise of e books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some peolple believe that it is the best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsastisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15 , while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school . WHat are the benefits of each systems?

The number of indigenous tribes living traditional lives in the world’s rainforests is decreasing. Within a few decades the last of these indigenous tribes may have disappeared forever. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening?