IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Social Media has helped us increase our virtual networks. This has isolated us physically, making us socially awkward in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

#media #networks #person
Due to the advancement of technology, there is a growing dependence on social
media
.
Although
,
this
this
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
has expanded our social network,
but
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apply
show examples
it has
also
 promoted a tendency of self-isolation and social awkwardness during physical interactions. I completely agree with
this
 statement and
this
 essay will give relevant reasons to support my opinion.
To begin
 with, even though the continuous use of social
media
 platforms help in virtually connecting us with the world, it has
also
 resulted in changing our
behavioral
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behavioural
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 habit by making it difficult to interact in person.
Furthermore
, virtual platforms are extremely addictive which have reduced our concentration levels of participating around
people
 and encouraged solitude.
For instance
, Facebook and Instagram users are often observed posting pictures and videos during a live gathering rather than enjoying the moment with
people
 present during that occasion;
such
 situations usually occur during moments of total silence.
Secondly
, social
media
 is often misleading and fails to portray reality and may not always depict who we really are.
As a result
,
this
 might lead to embarrassing moments during a meeting because of which virtual platform users tend to away from a face to face interaction.
For example
, profiles created on dating and matrimonial websites cannot completely depict who these
people
 really are and
therefore
, only a non-virtual meet can reveal their true personality and character. In conclusion,
although
 social
media
 platforms help us connect with many
people
 virtually, it not only fails to represent our true identity and individuality
,
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 but it
also
 adversely impacts our ability to socialize in person.
Submitted by dipalisklc on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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