IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Others believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A group of individuals think that allowing youngsters to express their preferences on everyday subjects
such
Linking Words
 as food, clothing and entertainment might lead them to be arrogant members of society,
whereas
Linking Words
 others believe that
children
Use synonyms
 should be allowed to make
decisions
Use synonyms
 about matters that are associated with them. I strongly believe the latter view can be efficient under crucial circumstances. On one hand, putting
children
Use synonyms
 in charge of making small
decisions
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as wearing the outfit they like to a party can be an essential practice for making life-changing
decisions
Use synonyms
 like choosing a major at college in the future. Not only
this
Linking Words
 method can guide them to boost their self-confidence as they are not dependent on their
parents
Use synonyms
, but
also
Linking Words
 makes them more responsible towards the
decisions
Use synonyms
 they make. They learn every decision has consequences and try to decide wisely.
However
Linking Words
, what if they want to wear a Batman costume to a party or have fast food
while
Linking Words
 their parent has tried to make a nutritious meal? Can
this
Linking Words
 method make
children
Use synonyms
 just think of their own wishes?
This
Linking Words
 view is not likely to happen as long as
parents
Use synonyms
 set boundaries for the dependent choices their child makes.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
’s decision-making should be thoroughly supervised.
Parents
Use synonyms
 should be able to build up a relationship made of negotiations.
This
Linking Words
 is when
parents
Use synonyms
 should give their offspring the vision they do not have -
due to
Linking Words
 an obvious lack of knowledge and experience.
This
Linking Words
 might sound challenging, but it absolutely has its own benefits of teaching
children
Use synonyms
 to discuss their needs, boosting their skills in order to be persuasive and
finally
Linking Words
 being able to deal with opposition.
To sum up
Linking Words
, considering the arguments above, I think
children
Use synonyms
 should be able to make their own
decisions
Use synonyms
 related to
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 matters as long as it is happening under the supervision of their
parents
Use synonyms
 and knowing not all
decisions
Use synonyms
, they make can be viable.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Make sure to have a clear introduction that presents both views and states your own opinion clearly.
supported main points
Develop ideas thoroughly with more specific examples to support each point for a more comprehensive argument. Avoid general statements without clear support.
relevant specific examples
Ensure that examples are detailed and directly relevant to the argument being made. Include these examples to strengthen the argument.
logical structure
Organize your essay in clear, logical paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and follow logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Throughout your essay, use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and sentences, and check that ideas flow smoothly across sentences and paragraphs.
complete response
Make sure that the task is fully addressed, including all parts of the prompt. Develop each point to ensure a clear and complete response to the question.
clear comprehensive ideas
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph, and make sure that every sentence within the paragraph supports the main idea.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: