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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that introducing new technology can improve people’s quality of life in developing countries. However, others believe that free education should be offered. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #technology #people’s #quality #life #countries #education
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Today we live in the modern era. A few
people
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 believe that innovative new
technologies
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 can improve
people
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's lives in underdeveloped countries. Others believe that free
education
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 should be better. I will discuss both points of view with my opinions and relative examples. On the one hand, technology helps us to communicate more easily and quickly.
Moreover
Linking Words
, around two decades ago
people
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 used letters, ships and, animals for long-distance communication but now it is possible within two minutes through mobile phones and telephones. Having effective and convenient
technologies
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 medicals,
education
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 and transportation have been improving dramatically and we have got good accommodation and medical services that assist us to increase our
life
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-span.
For example
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, in recent research conducted by the Indian research institute, they found out that in Bangladesh, India, and Pakistan
people
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's
life
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 spans improved by around five years via the use of advanced
technologies
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.
On the other hand
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, free
education
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 will assist us to know about health and the modern world.
Also
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, in developing countries, lots of families can not afford high tuition fees. If
people
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 are educated they will be more self-awareness and more productive it will help the state to increase gross national income and ultimately individuals' living standards will rise. In my opinion, both are important to achieve
people
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's quality of
life
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.
Moreover
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, without the use of modern devices and applications, we can not handle and complete our everyday activities. From morning to midnight, we use mobile phones, the internet, computers and, transportation, so technology plays a vital role in our modern
life
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. But,
education
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 is
also
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 significant in operating and innovating new
technologies
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 to learn about
such
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 as science, business and arts.
For instance
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, it has been proved that more educated nations are more innovative and productive in discovering new
technologies
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 like the USA and the UK. In conclusion, I would say that free
education
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 is so vital for
people
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 to increase their quality of
life
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. It would help them be more innovative, creative and, productive.
Submitted by shahjalal on

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Task Achievement
Expand on your examples to directly link them to how they specifically improve quality of life. This will help strengthen your argument and provide clearer task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words for smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This can enhance cohesion and provide a more seamless reading experience.
Task Achievement
In the introduction, aim to provide a more detailed overview of the topic being discussed. This prepares the reader for what to expect in the essay and sets the stage for a comprehensive discussion.
Task Achievement
Be cautious with clarity and precision in your argumentation. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea, and develop your viewpoints more thoroughly.
Task Achievement
Good balance in discussing both views and providing your own opinion on the importance of technology and education in improving the quality of life.
Task Achievement
Effective use of examples to support your points, particularly the reference to research in Bangladesh, India, and Pakistan which adds credibility to your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Logical structure and clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a strong framework for your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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