IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In recent years, television has contributed most to changing people’s quality of life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#years #television #people’s #quality #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, Individuals discuss ways to improve the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
. Some say that
TV
Use synonyms
 has affected somehow the
quality
Use synonyms
 in the lives of frequent
spectators
Use synonyms
. I believe that
TV
Use synonyms
 impacts
people
Use synonyms
’s lives negatively as they spend more time than necessary and
this
Linking Words
 could be used to enjoy their family or friends.
However
Linking Words
, if watching
TV
Use synonyms
 makes
people
Use synonyms
 feel secure,
this
Linking Words
 is better for them.
People
Use synonyms
 spent too much time in front of the
TV
Use synonyms
. Since
spectators
Use synonyms
 watch too much television it is hard to balance other
activities
Use synonyms
 with their family members or friends.
Also
Linking Words
, watching
TV
Use synonyms
 does not contribute to
people
Use synonyms
’s health as the action of sitting on a comfortable couch does not make these individuals keep in shape.
This
Linking Words
 would probably lead them to a sedentary
life
Use synonyms
 as well as face overweight.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these
spectators
Use synonyms
 will not find on
TV
Use synonyms
 related-
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as watching movies, streaming videos or playing video-games a good
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
 as these
activities
Use synonyms
 will deteriorate their health conditions.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can get safer while watching
TV
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
. Outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
 or even gyms can be less safe in some cases for
people
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 to say,
spectators
Use synonyms
 who live in dangerous cities would probably face more violence while out of their homes. As an example, living in a dangerous city like Rio de Janeiro would probably offer more safety for those who just stay at
home
Use synonyms
 watching
TV
Use synonyms
 in comparison with others doing other social
activities
Use synonyms
 in their communities.
This
Linking Words
 is because of the high number of crimes that happen in these areas.
Thus
Linking Words
, staying at
home
Use synonyms
 playing video-games would give
people
Use synonyms
 more
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
 since insecurity and fear of going out would decrease their well-being. To conclude, only watching
TV
Use synonyms
 does not give
people
Use synonyms
 a better
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
 because of the sedentarism regarding
this
Linking Words
 activity.
However
Linking Words
, well-being could be improved if
people
Use synonyms
 who live in dangerous areas feel safer while at
home
Use synonyms
 just watching
TV
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ricieri2010 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: