Some university student want to learn about other subject in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to study for a qualification. Discuss both view and give your opinion

#university #student #addition #subjects #time #attention #study #qualification

Growing interest in

subjects

university

has been highlighted over the past decades. From

this

aspect, some opine that

university

students

want to learn about other

subjects

in addition

to their main

subjects

but others hold the view that it is more important to give all their time and attention to

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

for a qualification.

This

essay will explore both views and

then

my personal opinion will be suggested. It is pointed out that

university

students

want to acquire

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

other modules

in addition

to their main module. Proponents of

this

argument suggest that an expansion in academic knowledge occurs.

This

is because

students

take part in additional

subjects'

Change noun form

subjects

show examples

classes and are more likely to master a wide range of academic education compared to those who focus on

main

Change the article

the main

show examples

subject. What is more, a majority of companies extremely prefer those who learn various

subjects

as equited abundant knowledge.

This

therefore

, brings about

to gain

Verb problem

apply

show examples

good job

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

for their future career.

Nevertheless

, some opponents insist that devoting

students

' time and attention to

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

for a qualification is more significant.

although

the difficulties of focusing on

specific

Add an article

a specific

show examples

subject cannot be overlooked,

students

highly experience advantages. A pertinent example of

this

is that they are required to concentrate on specific module studies without

distruption

Correct your spelling

disruption

disrupting

other modules.

This

obviously leads them to invest sufficient time and effort and

this

in turn encourages

Change preposition

apply

show examples

an improvement in academic

performances

Fix the agreement mistake

performance

show examples

. To recapitulate, I believe that

university

students

want to learn about other

subjects

in addition

to their main subject

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because an expansion in academic knowledge occurs and a majority of companies extremely prefer those who learn various

subjects

Thus

university

students

should

be strive

Change the verb form

strive

show examples

to study additional

subjects

and

then

they would be hired

Change preposition

for a

show examples

better condition of job

Submitted by subin12260 on Sun Jun 02 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses both views on whether university students should focus on additional subjects besides their main subjects or dedicate all their time to qualifying in their chosen field. However, the essay could benefit from including more specific examples and evidence to support the main points.

task achievement

There should be a greater effort towards linguistic accuracy. Ensure consistent use of articles and prepositions, and verify correct verb forms. For example, replace 'equited abundant knowledge' with 'acquired abundant knowledge'.

coherence cohesion

Improving the transition between ideas will enhance coherence. Use linking phrases like 'In addition,' 'However,' or 'Therefore' more strategically to guide the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences are unclear due to awkward phrasing. Try to simplify complex sentences to ensure clarity and avoid ambiguity. For instance, rephrase 'This obviously leads them to invest sufficient time and effort and this in turn encourages to an improvement in academic performances' for improved clarity.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents both sides of the argument, which is excellent for setting up the essay's discussion.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion summarizes the points effectively and presents a clear personal opinion, which is crucial for a well-rounded essay.

supported main points

The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, showing a fair understanding of each perspective. This balanced approach is crucial for scoring well in IELTS writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some university student want to learn about other subject in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to study for a qualification. Discuss both view and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that public libraries are an important public resource and should be free. Others say that they are just a waste of public money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for parents doing this? Is this a positive or negative development for the children?

TOPIC: School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. Do you agree or disagree?