In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most of scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?
There is no doubt technical advancements have done enormous growth around the world. Some people consider that nonpublic organisations have surpassed the government in research and development.
However
, I completely contradict with
the former argument and discuss my views in the latter view.
Some people acknowledge that government have to spend Change preposition
apply
taxpayers
money on more scientific exploration to provide better facilities for society. Change noun form
taxpayers'
taxpayer's
Therefore
it enhances their standard of living which leads to a better future. The reason behind this
is many undeveloped nations spend billions of dollar
on buying and making weapons which are of no use Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
besides
threatening their neighbours. For example
,Japan spends most of its financial income on research and development which directly impact
on common Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
man
welfare.
Turning to the other side of the argument the majority of people Change noun form
man's
believes
that private companies have the capability to think Change the verb form
believe
out
the box. Change preposition
outside
As a result
their products or applications easily connect and appeals
to Correct subject-verb agreement
appeal
masses
which changes the whole perspective of the community. Correct article usage
the masses
This
happens because these private firms are capable to take
Change preposition
of taking
the
Correct article usage
apply
risk
with their Fix the agreement mistake
risks
cutting edge
technology. Add a hyphen
cutting-edge
For instance
, Tesla is the great evidence in front of us Correct word choice
that which
which
put a plethora of Correct pronoun usage
it
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
in
research and development despite facing bankruptcy in their initial stage. Change preposition
into
Moreover
, these companies realise that our future is technology-driven, so they are making a full effort to satisfy their customer needs.
In conclusion, although
the government have a crucial role in our society and
when we look Correct word choice
apply
for
the broader picture we realise that private companies made our future much more self-reliant and convenient for our upcoming generation Change preposition
at
while
learning from their mistakes.Submitted by pranaykashyap221 on
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coherence cohesion
There are issues with the logical structure of the essay. The ideas are not always presented in a clear and organized manner. Pay close attention to the organization of your essay to ensure that each point flows logically.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened to better frame the essay. Make sure to clearly address the question prompt in your introduction and provide a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points.
task achievement
The response addresses the task to a certain extent, but could be more comprehensive and focused. Ensure that your essay fully covers the topic and provides a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of private companies conducting scientific research.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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