IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Billions of dollars are being wasted on space research. The money used could be better if used to improving condition on people on earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most scientists are inclined to execute various experiments for exploring
space
Use synonyms
, but these experiments seem quite
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
wasteful. Personally, I agree
Change preposition
with that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
what
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 has been mentioned above. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate on an argument
why
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for why
show examples
 the subsidies should be afforded to other sections
for
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of
show examples
 the earth.
To begin
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 with, practical investment obviously demonstrates why the
government
Use synonyms
 should quit supporting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
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 research. As background knowledge, the main purpose of
space
Use synonyms
 exploration is for the historical achievements
from
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of
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 each country.
Therefore
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, the
government
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 and relevant organizations should focus on the realistic situation.
For example
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,
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 mitigation and the lack of
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
 resources
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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could be appropriate
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
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 for Earth's situation.
As a result
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, to utilize money wisely, the
government
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 should implement practical investment, not
on
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in
show examples
 the universal place. On top of that, to alleviate environmental pollution, it
also
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 needs huge budgets to recover our
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
.
However
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, these costs could transpire
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unexpected benefits
such
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 as the revision of soil
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 and clean water which are very useful for humanity.
In addition
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,
due to
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 the lack of
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
 resources, more and more scientists should invent replacement ingredients and materials. As shown
these
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in these
show examples
 cases, the
government
Use synonyms
 should induce
professions
Replace the word
professionals
show examples
 to address those realistic problems. In conclusion,
as
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at
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 first glance,
space
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 exploration is
necessary
Correct article usage
a necessary
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goals
Fix the agreement mistake
goal
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as
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for
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 humanity.
However
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,
for
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apply
show examples
in the future, the
government
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 and related scientific experts should regard
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues.
Thus
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, I feel that it is
convincing
Add an article
a convincing
the convincing
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 statement that it explains why international administrations should
evade
Verb problem
avoid
show examples
 wasting money on
space
Use synonyms
.

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task response
The essay provides arguments to support the idea that money spent on space research could be better used for improving conditions on Earth. However, the arguments lack specific details and examples. It would be beneficial to provide more concrete examples and evidence to strengthen the points made.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the logical structure within each paragraph could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some complex words and phrases used appropriately. However, there is room for improvement in terms of using more precise and specific vocabulary to convey ideas.
grammatical range
Overall, the essay shows a good command of grammatical structures. Pay attention to sentence structures and ensure that they are varied to maintain reader interest. Additionally, review the use of articles and prepositions for more accuracy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • billions of dollars
  • wasted
  • improving conditions
  • technological advancements
  • inspires
  • motivates
  • contributes
  • understanding of the universe
  • investment
  • indirect benefits
  • priority
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