Billions of dollars are being wasted on space research. The money used could be better if used to improving condition on people on earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most scientists are inclined to execute various experiments for exploring
space
, but these experiments seem quite
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
wasteful. Personally, I agree
Change preposition
with that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
has been mentioned above. In
this
essay, I will elaborate on an argument
why
Change preposition
for why
show examples
the subsidies should be afforded to other sections
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the earth.
To begin
with, practical investment obviously demonstrates why the
government
should quit supporting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
research. As background knowledge, the main purpose of
space
exploration is for the historical achievements
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
each country.
Therefore
, the
government
and relevant organizations should focus on the realistic situation.
For example
,
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
mitigation and the lack of
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
resources
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could be appropriate
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
show examples
for Earth's situation.
As a result
, to utilize money wisely, the
government
should implement practical investment, not
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the universal place. On top of that, to alleviate environmental pollution, it
also
needs huge budgets to recover our
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
.
However
, these costs could transpire
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unexpected benefits
such
as the revision of soil
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
and clean water which are very useful for humanity.
In addition
,
due to
the lack of
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
resources, more and more scientists should invent replacement ingredients and materials. As shown
these
Change preposition
in these
show examples
cases, the
government
should induce
professions
Replace the word
professionals
show examples
to address those realistic problems. In conclusion,
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
first glance,
space
exploration is
necessary
Correct article usage
a necessary
show examples
goals
Fix the agreement mistake
goal
show examples
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
humanity.
However
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in the future, the
government
and related scientific experts should regard
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues.
Thus
, I feel that it is
convincing
Add an article
a convincing
the convincing
show examples
statement that it explains why international administrations should
evade
Verb problem
avoid
show examples
wasting money on
space
.
Submitted by kooji6856 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay provides arguments to support the idea that money spent on space research could be better used for improving conditions on Earth. However, the arguments lack specific details and examples. It would be beneficial to provide more concrete examples and evidence to strengthen the points made.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the logical structure within each paragraph could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some complex words and phrases used appropriately. However, there is room for improvement in terms of using more precise and specific vocabulary to convey ideas.
grammatical range
Overall, the essay shows a good command of grammatical structures. Pay attention to sentence structures and ensure that they are varied to maintain reader interest. Additionally, review the use of articles and prepositions for more accuracy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • billions of dollars
  • wasted
  • improving conditions
  • technological advancements
  • inspires
  • motivates
  • contributes
  • understanding of the universe
  • investment
  • indirect benefits
  • priority
What to do next:
Look at other essays: