Some people believe that one should not be allowed to work after age of 65, other believe that they should be allowed to work for as long as they want. Discuss both sides of view and give your opinion.

#people #work #age

There is currently a contentious argument over the permission for

people

after 65 years old to

work

. In my perspective,

this

controversial issue depends on various aspects, especially job

demandings

Correct your spelling

demanding

demands

and workers’ ability.

This

essay is going to examine

this

preference and analyze my opinion. On the one hand, it is undeniable that senior

people

have much more experience, not only in

Add an article

the

show examples

orkplace but

also

in society.

In other words

, they have built up a broad knowledge when it comes to compared to younger generations.

Therefore

, I quite believe they are more likely to meet the demands of fields which need carefulness and understanding. Taking Japan as an example. We could see a huge amount of seniors, including over 65-year-olds is still working hard in some majors,

such

as hand-craft industries, local tour guilders.

Moreover

, the

olders

Correct your spelling

holders

might become headliners teaching younger workforces to sharply improve their skills. Turning to the other side of the argument, we are living in

the

Change the article

show examples

competitive era while there is an enormous number of high-end technologies. What I mean by

this

that young generations

Change the determiner

that young generation

those young generations

show examples

have more opportunities to learn and apply modern devices than the

olders

Correct your spelling

holders

older

Thus

, it

is seemed

Change to the active voice

seems

has seemed

show examples

that old

people

who cannot adapt to the quick changes of the world could not be allowed to

work

in these majors. For an instance, IT, one of the most prospect fields, is significantly developing day by day in recent years. It makes a wide horizon for youngsters more clearly than the

olders

Correct your spelling

elders

holders

older

who are too hard to keep in pace with the developments. In conclusion,

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

permission for old

people

continuous

Replace the word

continue

show examples

work

is evitable. I myself believe that the

olders

Correct your spelling

holders

have their own values in some fields of

work

so that allowing them to

work

could bring a lot of benefits.

Submitted by tothien2510 on Thu Jan 14 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that one should not be allowed to work after age of 65, other believe that they should be allowed to work for as long as they want. Discuss both sides of view and give your opinion.

In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.

Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

For centuries, important parts of education have remained, such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skills be made us a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extent do you agree?